“I will tell you, sir. She saw me standing there, and asked me in her
own soft angel voice if I was unhappy. I told her I must be a poor
creature if I could be happy. Then she asked me, with some hesitation I
thought, why I was unhappy. I said, because I could not see the path of
honour and duty clear: that at least was the purport. Then she told me
that in all difficulties she had found the best way was to pray to God
to guide her; and she begged me to lay my care before Him and ask His
counsel. And then I thanked her; and bade her good-night, and she me;
and that was all that passed between us two unhappy lovers, whom you
have made miserable; and even cool to one another; but not hostile to
you. And you played the spy on us, sir; and misunderstood us, as spies
generally do. Ah, sir! a few months ago you would not have condescended
to that.”
Mr. Hardie coloured, but did not reply. He had passed from the irritable
into the quietly vindictive stage.
Alfred then deprecated further discussion of what was past, and said
abruptly, “I have an offer to make you: in a very short time I shall
have ten thousand pounds; I will not resign my whole fortune; that would
be unjust to myself, and my wife; and I loathe and despise Injustice in
all its forms, however romantic or plausible. But, if you will give the
Dodds their L. 14,000, I will share my little fortune equally with you:
and thank you, and bless you. Consider, sir, with your abilities and
experience five thousand pounds may yet be the nucleus of a fortune; a
fortune built on an honourable foundation. I know you will thrive
with my five thousand pounds ten times more than with their fourteen
thousand; and enjoy the blessing of blessings, a clear conscience.”
Now this offer was no sooner made than Mr. Hardie shut his face, and
went to mental arithmetic, like one doing a sum behind a thick door. He
would have taken ten thousand: but five thousand did not much tempt him:
besides, would it be five thousand clear? He already owed Alfred two
thousand five hundred. It flashed through him that a young man who
loathed and despised Injustice--even to himself--would not consent to be
diddled by him out of one sum while making him a present of another:
and then there was Skinner's thousand to be reimbursed. He therefore
declined in these terms:
“This offer shows me you are sincere in these strange notions you have
taken up. I am sorry for it: it looks like insanity. These nocturnal
illusions, these imaginary sights and sounds, come of brooding on a
single idea, and often usher in a calamity one trembles to think of. You
have made me a proposal: I make you one: take a couple of hundred pounds
(I'll get it from your trustees) and travel the Continent for four
months; enlarge and amuse your mind with the contemplation of nature and
manners and customs; and if that does not clear this phantom L. 14,000
out of your head, I am much mistaken.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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