American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
Time came, perhaps, all so soon! when our thoughts overleaped that narrow
boundary; when there was some one (very dear, we thought then, very
beautiful, and absolutely perfect) wanting to the fullness of our
happiness; when we were wanting too (or we thought so, which did just as
well) at the Christmas hearth by which that some one sat; and when we
intertwined with every wreath and garland of our life that some one’s
name.
That was the time for the bright visionary Christmases which have long
arisen from us to show faintly, after summer rain, in the palest edges of
the rainbow! That was the time for the beatified enjoyment of the things
that were to be, and never were, and yet the things that were so real in
our resolute hope that it would be hard to say, now, what realities
achieved since, have been stronger!
What! Did that Christmas never really come when we and the priceless pearl
who was our young choice were received, after the happiest of totally
impossible marriages, by the two united families previously at
daggers-drawn on our account? When brothers and sisters in law who had
always been rather cool to us before our relationship was effected,
perfectly doted on us, and when fathers and mothers overwhelmed us with
unlimited incomes? Was that Christmas dinner never really eaten, after
which we arose, and generously and eloquently rendered honor to our late
rival, present in the company, then and there exchanging friendship and
forgiveness, and founding an attachment, not to be surpassed in Greek or
Roman story, which subsisted until death? Has that same rival long ceased
to care for that same priceless pearl, and married for money, and become
usurious? Above all, do we really know, now, that we should probably have
been miserable if we had won and worn the pearl, and that we are better
without her?
That Christmas when we had recently achieved so much fame; when we had
been carried in triumph somewhere, for doing something great and good;
when we had won an honored and ennobled name, and arrived and were
received at home in a shower of tears of joy; is it possible that _that_
Christmas has not come yet?
And is our life here, at the best, so constituted that, pausing as we
advance at such a noticeable mile-stone in the track as this great
birthday, we look back on the things that never were, as naturally and
full as gravely as on the things that have been and are gone, or have been
and still are? If it be so, and so it seems to be, must we come to the
conclusion, that life is little better than a dream, and little worth the
loves and strivings that we crowd into it?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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