Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. IX.—February, 1851.—Vol. II.Various
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. IX.—February, 1851.—Vol. II.
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
was her business to put to bed. Her mistress always hoped that the fit
of fanaticism would pass off with months or years and the sooner for not
being interfered with; but this behavior could not be passed over. When
the rebuke was given, poor Jemima emptied her heart completely; and very
curious the contents proved to be. It appeared that she despised the
family she lived with, though she was fully resolved to do her duty by
them. She feared they were lost people; but they might yet be saved, and
it was her business to serve them, and not to judge them. She hoped she
had not failed in her duty; but her feelings and her thoughts were her
own. If she must not speak them, she could hold her tongue, and bear the
cross of so doing; but nobody could take them from her. There was so
much that was respectable and really fine in her ardor and
conscientiousness, that she was gently treated, and only forbidden to
make any complaints to the younger members of the family. One most
important disclosure at this time was that she was engaged to be
married; not yet, but some time or other.
Her lover was a class-mate, apprenticed to a shoemaker, with two years
of his apprenticeship still to run. On inquiry he was found to be
thoroughly respectable as to character, diligent in his business, and
likely to be an able workman. So he was allowed to call for Jemima on
class evenings, and to come now and then to the house. The Barclays knew
when he was there by hearing a man's voice reading in the kitchen, when
the door was opened, or by the psalm-singing, which needed no open doors
to make itself heard.
Jemima was now, however, unsettled; not at all by her engagement, for
nothing could be more sober and rational than the temper and views of
the young people as regarded each other and their prospects; but the
poor girl felt that she was living in a sort of bondage, while yet she
could blame nobody for it. She sighed for freedom to lead the sort of
religious life she wished, without interruption from persons of a
different way of thinking. I believe she was nineteen or twenty when she
told Mrs. Barclay what she had been planning; and Mrs. Barclay was not
altogether sorry to hear about it, for Jemima had lost much of her
openness and cheerfulness, bounced about when doing her work, and
knocked hard with her brushes when cleaning floors overhead. There was
evidently an internal irritation, which might best be relieved by total
change.
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