Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. VI, November 1850, Vol. IVarious
History
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. VI, November 1850, Vol. I
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
Whatever might have been the gratification of the Squire, as a canvasser
and a brother, at Mr. Egerton's triumph, it was much damped when, on
leaving the dinner given in honor of the victory, at the Lansmere Arms,
and about, with no steady step, to enter the carriage which was to
convey him to his Lordship's house, a letter was put into his hands by
one of the gentleman who had accompanied the Captain to the scene of
action; and the perusal of that letter, and a few whispered words from
the bearer thereof, sent the Squire back to Mrs. Hazeldean a much
soberer man than she had ventured to hope for. The fact was, that on the
day of nomination, the Captain having honored Mr. Hazeldean with many
poetical and figurative appellations--such as "Prize Ox," "Tony
Lumpkin," "Blood-sucking Vampyre," and "Brotherly Warming-Pan," the
Squire had retorted by a joke upon "Salt Water Jack;" and the Captain,
who, like all satirists, was extremely susceptible and thin-skinned,
could not consent to be called "Salt Water Jack" by a "Prize Ox" and a
"Blood-sucking Vampyre." The letter, therefore, now conveyed to Mr.
Hazeldean by a gentleman, who, being from the Sister Country, was deemed
the most fitting accomplice in the honorable destruction of a brother
mortal, contained nothing more nor less than an invitation to single
combat; and the bearer thereof, with the suave politeness enjoined by
etiquette on such well-bred homicidal occasions, suggested the
expediency of appointing the place of meeting in the neighborhood of
London, in order to prevent interference from the suspicious authorities
of Lansmere.
The natives of some countries--the warlike French in particular--think
little of that formal operation which goes by the name of DUELLING.
Indeed, they seem rather to like it than otherwise. But there is nothing
your thorough-paced Englishman--a Hazeldean of Hazeldean--considers
with more repugnance and aversion, than that same cold-blooded
ceremonial. It is not within the range of an Englishman's ordinary
habits of thinking. He prefers going to law--a much more destructive
proceeding of the two. Nevertheless, if an Englishman must fight, why,
he will fight. He says "it is very foolish;" he is sure "it is most
unchristian-like;" he agrees with all that Philosopher, Preacher, and
Press have laid down on the subject; but he makes his will, says his
prayers, and goes out, like a heathen!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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