Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. VII, December 1850, Vol. IIVarious
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. VII, December 1850, Vol. II
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
My objection to London, is, that it is the head-quarters of the worst
radical sentiments that are broached in England. I consider that it has
a great many dangerous people in it. I consider the present publication
(if it's "Household Words") very dangerous, and I write this with the
view of neutralizing some of its bad effects. My political creed is, let
us be comfortable. We are all very comfortable as we are--_I_ am very
comfortable as I am--leave us alone!
All mankind are my brothers, and I don't think it Christian--if you come
to that--to tell my brother that he is ignorant, or degraded, or dirty,
or any thing of the kind. I think it's abusive, and low. You meet me
with the observation that I am required to love my brother. I reply, "I
do." I am sure I am always willing to say to my brother, "My good
fellow, I love you very much; go along with you; keep to your own road;
leave me to mine; whatever is, is right; whatever isn't, is wrong; don't
make a disturbance!" It seems to me, that this is at once the whole duty
of man, and the only temper to go to dinner in.
Going to dinner in this temper in the city of London, one day not long
ago, after a bed at Mrs. Skim's, with meat-breakfast and servants
included, I was reminded of the observation which, if my memory does not
deceive me, was formerly made by somebody on some occasion, that man may
learn wisdom from the lower animals. It is a beautiful fact, in my
opinion, that great wisdom is to be learned from that noble animal the
turtle.
I had made up my mind, in the course of the day I speak of, to have a
turtle dinner. I mean a dinner mainly composed of turtle. Just a
comfortable tureen of soup, with a pint of punch, and nothing solid to
follow, but a tender juicy steak. I like a tender juicy steak. I
generally say to myself when I order one, "Snoady, you have done right."
When I make up my mind to have a delicacy, expense is no consideration.
The question resolves itself, then, into a question of the very best. I
went to a friend of mine who is a member of the Common Council, and with
that friend I held the following conversation.
Said I to him, "Mr. Groggles, the best turtle is where?"
Says he, "If you want a basin for lunch, my opinion is, you can't do
better than drop into Birch's."
Said I, "Mr. Groggles, I thought you had known me better, than to
suppose me capable of a basin. My intention is to dine. A tureen."
Says Mr. Groggles, without a moment's consideration, and in a determined
voice. "Right opposite the India House, Leadenhall-street."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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