Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. VII, December 1850, Vol. IIVarious
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. VII, December 1850, Vol. II
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
Two athletic young men, without coats, and with the sleeves of their
shirts tucked up to the shoulders, were in attendance on these noble
animals. One of them, wrestling with the most enormous turtle in
company, and dragging him up to the edge of the tank, for me to look at,
presented an idea to me which I never had before. I ought to observe
that I like an idea. I say, when I get a new one, "Snoady, book that!"
My idea, on the present occasion, was--Mr. Groggles! It was not a turtle
that I saw, but Mr. Groggles. It was the dead image of Mr. Groggles. He
was dragged up to confront me, with his waistcoat--if I may be allowed
the expression--toward me; and it was identically the waistcoat of Mr.
Groggles. It was the same shape, very nearly the same color, only wanted
a gold watch-chain and a bunch of seals, to BE the waistcoat of Mr.
Groggles. There was what I should call a bursting expression about him
in general, which was accurately the expression of Mr. Groggles. I had
never closely observed a turtle's throat before. The folds of his loose
cravat, I found to be precisely those of Mr. Groggles's cravat. Even the
intelligent eye--I mean to say, intelligent enough for a person of
correct principles, and not dangerously so--was the eye of Mr. Groggles.
When the athletic young man let him go, and, with a roll of his head, he
flopped heavily down into the tank, it was exactly the manner of Mr.
Groggles as I have seen him ooze away into his seat, after opposing a
sanitary motion in the Court of Common Council!
"Snoady," I couldn't help saying to myself, "you have done it. You have
got an idea, Snoady, in which a great principle is involved. I
congratulate you!" I followed the young man, who dragged up several
turtle to the brinks of the various tanks. I found them all the
same--all varieties of Mr. Groggles--all extraordinarily like the
gentlemen who usually eat them. "Now, Snoady," was my next remark, "what
do you deduce from this?"
"Sir," said I, "what I deduce from this, is, confusion to those Radicals
and other Revolutionists who talk about improvement. Sir," said I, "what
I deduce from this, is, that there isn't this resemblance between the
turtles and the Groggleses for nothing. It's meant to show mankind that
the proper model for a Groggles, is a turtle; and that the liveliness
we want in a Groggles, is the liveliness of a turtle, and no more."
"Snoady," was my reply to this, "you have hit it. You are right!"
I admired the idea very much, because, if I hate any thing in the world,
it's change. Change has evidently no business in the world, has nothing
to do with it, and isn't intended. What we want is (as I think I have
mentioned) to be comfortable. I look at it that way. Let us be
comfortable, and leave us alone. Now, when the young man dragged a
Groggles--I mean a turtle--out of his tank, this was exactly what the
noble animal expressed as he floundered back again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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