Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. XXVI, July 1852, Vol. VVarious
History
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. XXVI, July 1852, Vol. V
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
There are also ladies and gentlemen of another fashion, not so new,
but very elegant, who have agreed to put a smooth glaze on the world,
and to keep down all its relations. For whom every thing must be
languid and pretty. Who have found out the perpetual stoppage. Who are
to rejoice at nothing, and be sorry for nothing. Who are not to be
disturbed by ideas. On whom even the Fine Arts, attending in powder
and walking backward like the Lord Chamberlain, must array themselves
in the milliners' and tailors' patterns of past generations, and be
particularly careful not to be in earnest, or to receive any impress
from the moving age.
Then there is my Lord Boodle, of considerable reputation with his
party, who has known what office is, and who tells Sir Leicester
Dedlock with much gravity, after dinner, that he really does not see
to what the present age is tending. A debate is not what a debate used
to be; the House is not what the House used to be; even a Cabinet is
not what it formerly was. He perceives with astonishment, that
supposing the present Government to be overthrown, the limited choice
of the Crown, in the formation of a new Ministry, would lie between
Lord Coddle and Sir Thomas Doodle--supposing it to be impossible for
the Duke of Foodle to act with Goodle, which may be assumed to be the
case in consequence of the breach arising out of that affair with
Hoodle. Then, giving the Home Department and the Leadership of the
House of Commons to Joodle, the Exchequer to Koodle, the Colonies to
Loodle, and the Foreign Office to Moodle, what are you to do with
Noodle? You can't offer him the Presidency of the Council; that is
reserved for Poodle. You can't put him in the Woods and Forests; that
is hardly good enough for Quoodle. What follows? That the country is
shipwrecked, lost, and gone to pieces (as is made manifest to the
patriotism of Sir Leicester Dedlock), because you can't provide for
Noodle!
On the other hand, the Right Honorable William Buffy, M.P., contends
across the table with some one else, that the shipwreck of the
country--about which there is no doubt; it is only the manner of it
that is in question--is attributable to Cuffy. If you had done with
Cuffy what you ought to have done when he first came into Parliament,
and had prevented him from going over to Duffy, you would have got him
into an alliance with Fuffy, you would have had with you the weight
attaching as a smart debater to Guffy, you would have brought to bear
upon the elections the wealth of Huffy, you would have got in for
three counties Juffy, Kuffy, and Luffy; and you would have
strengthened your administration by the official knowledge and the
business habits of Muffy. All this, instead of being, as you now are,
dependent on the mere caprice of Puffy!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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