Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. XXVII, August 1852, Vol. VVarious
History
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. XXVII, August 1852, Vol. V
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
I did not dare to trust my tongue, but seized her hand a moment, and
then ran for my life--literally for my life. Reaching my room I sat
down in my chair again, and stared upon the floor. I loved Lulu more
than any woman in the world. Yet I remembered precisely similar
occasions before, when I felt as if the sun and life were departing
when certain persons left my side, and I therefore could not trust
my emotion, and run back again and swear absolute and eternal
fidelity. You think I was a great fool, and destitute of feeling,
and better not venture any more into general female society. Perhaps
so. But it was written upon my consciousness suddenly and
dazzlingly, as the mystic words upon Nebuchadnezzar's hall, that
this, though sweet and absorbing, was but a summer fancy--offspring
of sunshine, flowers, and music--not the permanent reality which all
men seek in love. It was one of the characteristic charms of the
summer life. It made the weeks a pleasant Masque of Truth--a
paraphrase of the poetry of Love. I would not avoid it. I would not
fail to sail among the isles of Greece, though but for a summer
day--though Memory might forever yearningly revert to that
delight--conscious of no dishonor, of no more selfishness than in
enjoying a day or a flower--exposed to all the risks to which my
partner in the delirious and delicious game was exposed.
We met at dinner. We strolled after dinner, and I felt the trembling
of the arm within mine, as we spoke of travel, of Niagara, of
Newport, and of parting. "Lulu," said I, "the pleasure of a
Watering-Place is the meeting with a thousand friends whom we never
saw before, and shall never see again."
That was the way I began.
"We meet here, Lulu, like travelers upon a mountain-top, one coming
from the clear, green north, another from the sun-loved south; and
we sit together for an hour talking, each of his own, and each story
by its strangeness fascinating the other hearer. Then we rise, say
farewell, and each pursues his journey alone, yet never forgetting
that meeting on the mountain, and the sweet discourse that charmed
the hours."
I found myself again delivering valedictory addresses, and to an
audience more moved than the first.
Yet who would not have had the day upon the mountain! Who would not
once have seen Helen, though he might never see her more? Who would
not wish to prove by a thousand-fold experience Shelley's lines--
"True love in this differs from gold to clay,
That to divide is not to take away."
Lulu said nothing, and we walked silently on.
"I hate the very name Watering-Place," said she, at length.
I did not ask her why.
When the full moonlight came, we went to the ball-room. It is the
way they treat moonlights at a Watering-Place.
"Yes," said Lulu, "let us die royally, wreathed with flowers."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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