Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. 2, No. 8, January, 1851Various
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. 2, No. 8, January, 1851
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
Nest revived during the warm summer weather. Edward came to see her, and
staid the allotted quarter of an hour; but he dared not look her in the
face. She was indeed a cripple: one leg was much shorter than the other,
and she halted on a crutch. Her face, formerly so brilliant in color,
was wan and pale with suffering: the bright roses were gone, never to
return. Her large eyes were sunk deep down in their hollow, cavernous
sockets: but the light was in them still, when Edward came. Her mother
dreaded her returning strength--dreaded, yet desired it; for the heavy
burden of her secret was most oppressive at times, and she thought
Edward was beginning to weary of his enforced attentions. One October
evening she told her the truth. She even compelled her rebellious heart
to take the cold, reasoning side of the question; and she told her child
that her disabled frame was a disqualification for ever becoming a
farmer's wife. She spoke hardly, because her inner agony and sympathy
was such, she dared not trust herself to express the feelings that were
rending her. But Nest turned away from cold reason; she revolted from
her mother; she revolted from the world. She bound her sorrow tight up
in her breast, to corrode and fester there.
Night after night, her mother heard her cries and moans--more pitiful,
by far, than those wrung from her by bodily pain a year before; and,
night after night, if her mother spoke to soothe, she proudly denied the
existence of any pain but what was physical, and consequent upon her
accident.
"If she would but open her sore heart to me--to me, her mother," Eleanor
wailed forth in prayer to God, "I would be content. Once it was enough
to have my Nest all my own. Then came love, and I knew it would never be
as before; and then I thought the grief I felt, when Edward spoke to me,
was as sharp a sorrow as could be; but this present grief, Oh Lord, my
God, is worst of all; and Thou only, Thou canst help!"
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