Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. 3, July, 1851Various
History
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. 3, July, 1851
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
Laying his hand upon the money-lender's shoulder, by a gesture of
terrible familiarity that insisted upon and commanded attention to his
words, West spoke with a sudden clearness and even musical distinctness
of utterance that made his words yet more appalling in their solemn
despair--"Old man, I am desperate; I am ruined. It is but a few months
since my father died, leaving me not only penniless, but encircled by
petty obligations which have cramped every movement I would have made. I
have had no time, no quiet, to make an effort such as my position
requires. This day I have spent my last shilling. I am too proud to beg,
and to borrow is to beg when a man is known to be in _real_ distress.
Within one hour from this time I shall be beyond all the tortures of a
life which for my own sake I care little to preserve. And yet I have
spent my youth in accumulating treasures, which but a brief space might
have rendered productive of benefit to man, and of profit to myself. My
father's little means and my own have vanished in the pursuit of
science, and in the gulf of suffering more immediate than our own. If I
die also, with me perish the results of his experiments, his studies,
and his sacrifices. There are moments when all ordinary calculations and
prudence are empty baubles. Life is the only real possession we have,
and death the only certainty. Listen! I will make one last proposal to
you. Lend me but _ten_ pounds--that is but _ten_ weeks of life--and I
swear to you that if I live, I will repay you for each pound lent not
ten or twenty, but one hundred--in all; one thousand pounds! Grant that
it be but a chance upon the one hand, yet, upon the other, how small is
the risk; and then, to save a human life--- is not that something in the
scale?" And the stranger laughed at these last words with a bitter
gayety, which caused a strange thrill to creep along the nerves of the
usurer.
However, the lender of gold shrugged his shoulders without relaxing his
habitual impassibility of manner. He did not speak. Possibly the idea
occurred to him that his strange client meditated some act of violence
upon himself or his strong box. But this idea speedily vanished, as the
stranger, relapsing suddenly into silence and conventional behavior,
removed his hand from the usurer's shoulder, and strode rapidly but
calmly from the apartment.
The door closed behind the ruined man, and the usurer drew a long
breath, while his bushy brows were contracted in a sort of agony of
doubt and irresolute purpose.
Meanwhile Bernard West paused for an instant on the threshold of the
outer-door, as if undecided which road to take. In truth all roads were
much alike to him at that moment. Some cause, too subtle to be seized by
the mental analyst, determined his course. He turned to the right, and
strode rapidly onward.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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