Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. 3, July, 1851Various
History
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. 3, July, 1851
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
"A strange system, Dr. Morgan," said Dr. Dosewell, recovering his
cheerful smile, but with a curl of contempt in it, "and would soon do
for the druggists."
"Serve 'em right. The druggists soon do for the patients."
"Sir!"
"Sir!"
DR. DOSEWELL (with dignity).--"You don't know, perhaps, Dr. Morgan, that
I am an apothecary as well as a surgeon. In fact," he added, with a
certain grand humility, "I have not yet taken a diploma, and am but
Doctor by courtesy."
DR. MORGAN.--"All one, sir! Doctor signs the death warrant--'pothecary
does the deed!"
DR. DOSEWELL. (with a withering sneer).--"Certainly we don't profess
to keep a dying man alive upon the juice of the deadly upas-tree."
DR. MORGAN (complacently).--"Of course you don't. There are no poisons
with us. That's just the difference between you and me, Dr. Dosewell!"
DR. DOSEWELL (pointing to the homeopathist's traveling pharmacopoeia,
and with affected candor).--"Indeed, I have always said that if you can
do no good, you can do no harm, with your infinitesimals."
Dr. Morgan, who had been obtuse to the insinuation of poisoning, fires
up violently at the charge of doing no harm.
"You know nothing about it! I could kill quite as many people as you, if
I chose it; but I don't choose."
DR. DOSEWELL (shrugging up his shoulders).--"Sir! 'tis no use arguing;
the thing's against common sense. In short, it is my firm belief that it
is--is a complete--"
DR. MORGAN.--"A complete what?"
DR. DOSEWELL (provoked to the utmost).--"Humbug!"
DR. MORGAN.--"Humbug! Cott in heaven! You old--"
DR. DOSEWELL.--"Old what, sir?"
DR. MORGAN (at home in a series of alliteral vowels, which none but a
Cymbrian could have uttered without gasping).--"Old allopathical
anthropophagite!"
DR. DOSEWELL (starting up, seizing by the back the chair on which he had
sat, and bringing it down violently on its four legs).--"Sir!"
DR. MORGAN, (imitating the action with his own chair).--"Sir!"
DR. DOSEWELL.--"You're abusive."
DR. MORGAN.--"You're impertinent."
DR. DOSEWELL.--"Sir!"
DR. MORGAN.--"Sir!"
The two rivals fronted each other.
They were both athletic men, and fiery men. Dr. Dosewell was the taller,
but Dr. Morgan was the stouter. Dr. Dosewell on the mother's side was
Irish; but Dr. Morgan on both sides was Welsh. All things considered, I
would have backed Dr. Morgan if it had come to blows. But, luckily for
the honor of science, here the chamber-maid knocked at the door, and
said, "The coach is coming, sir."
Dr. Morgan recovered his temper and his manners at that announcement.
"Dr. Dosewell," said he, "I have been too hot--I apologize."
"Dr. Morgan," answered the allopathist, "I forgot myself. Your hand,
sir."
DR. MORGAN.--"We are both devoted to humanity, though with different
opinions. We should respect each other."
DR. DOSEWELL.--"Where look for liberality, if men of science are
illiberal to their brethren?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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