Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. 3, No. 15, August, 1851Various
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. 3, No. 15, August, 1851
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
"Again, I ask you why you come here? Answer me, or leave the room at
once."
"Why do I come here? To gladden myself by looking at your wretchedness.
You are worse than I am--sunk below me a thousand fathoms deep in
degradation--every finger is pointed at you--you are steeped in
scorn--despised and loathed. I came to see this. It makes me supremely
happy."
"Go--there is the door," I cried, the blood tingling in my ears, and in
the tips of my fingers. Astræa saw that the excitement was rising, and
looked at me imploringly; but it was too late to attend to her scruples.
The dwarf looked at the door superciliously, and almost smiled when I
repeated my warning.
"You will not leave the room? Be advised. I am not responsible for what
may happen after this. I am not master of myself. Go--it is the last
time I will utter the word. Go--or I will kill you on the spot!"
He did not move, but looked at me wonderingly and incredulously. I
rushed upon him and grappled him by the neck. Astræa sprang up, and
begged of me to desist, for I was hanging over him, with my hand upon
his throat.
"Let him go--let him go!" she exclaimed; "for my sake do not commit a
murder. Loosen your hold--there--there--have mercy on him, for my
sake--for the love of God, spare him--remember, we have injured him
enough already--remember that!"
I would not loosen my hold; passion had given me the power and the
cruelty of a demon. There was a brief struggle, in which I flung him
heavily to the ground. I had seized his handkerchief, and twisted my
hand in it--he was nearly choked--his face was growing black; but I was
hardly conscious of all this, for the room was swimming round me as I
knelt over him. Astræa saw the change in his color, and with a shriek of
horror fell upon my arm. This action made me relax my hold. She had
fainted on his body.
CONCLUSION.
Why should I dwell any longer on these painful events? Had I known then,
as I afterward discovered, that the unhappy object of my wrath and
hatred had, ever since the flight of Astræa, betrayed symptoms of
aberration, and that the scheme of vengeance he nurtured so
relentlessly, was the stratagem of a disordered brain, I should have
treated him with mercy and compassion. But I was ignorant of the real
condition of his mind, and dealt with him as I should have dealt with a
responsible being. The violent excitement of that scene brought on a
crisis, which ended in a seizure of insanity. He still lives; if that
may be called living in which all memory of the past is extinguished,
and the present is a mere tangled skein of day-dreams.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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