Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol III, No 13, 1851Various
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol III, No 13, 1851
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
"Whatever self-respect or pride I had," returned the dwarf, in a low and
bitter tone, "you have trampled upon, and raised up a demoniac spirit in
this place. It might have been otherwise once. I loved you--ay! writhe
under the word--I loved you; but I was ill-favored, misshapen, stunted,
and loathsome to look upon. You thought that love and ambition and high
thoughts could not take up with such a frame as this--that they all went
with straight limbs and milky faces. Nature could not condescend to
endow the dwarf with the attributes of humanity. But I was a man as well
as they--had the passions and hopes of a man, the capabilities of good
and evil. You never sought the good; you never felt it to be your duty
to seek and cultivate the better qualities which my own consciousness of
my outward defects made irresolute and wayward in development. You only
looked upon the surface: and in the selfishness of your heart you
spurned me from you. You never thought of asking yourself whether it was
in your power to redeem and elevate, for noble ends, the human soul that
was pent up in this weak and distorted body. You never stopped to
reflect whether, by your contumely and pride of beauty, you were not
destroying the germs of all self-respect, perverting the virtuous
instincts into poisonous fangs, and shattering to the core the best
resolves of a human being who might be better than yourself. A word of
kindness in season--a generous construction of my character--an effort
to call my moral strength into action, might have raised me to the
dignity of the manhood it was your pleasure to disdain and
degrade--might have given me the fortitude and the compensating motive
to resign you--might have saved us both! But that word was never on your
lips--that effort you were not generous enough to try. What I am, then,
you have made me--bitter to the dregs, engrossed by one thought, living
but for one object. Life is a curse to me. Every new day that rises upon
me, humiliation and despair are before me. Do you believe I will suffer
this tamely? What have I to lose? You hate me--I return you hate for
hate, loaded with the recollections of years of scorn and defiance.
Defiance? Ha! ha! It is my turn now, and no remorse shall step in
between us to mitigate my vengeance!"
His voice rose almost into a shriek at the close, he had worked himself
up to such a height of fanatic excitement; yet, notwithstanding the
denunciation with which he ended, it was impossible not to be touched
with pity for the real suffering that had reduced him to this condition.
A great sorrow had converted this wretched man into a human fiend; and I
never before believed that there were the elements of tenderness in him
which these references to the past seemed dimly to light up. Astræa
heard it all very calmly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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