Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. III, No. XVII, October 1851Various
History
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. III, No. XVII, October 1851
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
I directed my manuscript to his care, and lay down with a lighter heart
than I had known for many a day. I will not weary my reader with the
tormenting vacillations of hope and fear which followed. Day after day
went over, and no answer came to me. I addressed two notes respectful,
but urgent, begging for some information as to my demand--none came. A
month passed thus, when, one morning, the governor of the Temple entered
my room with an open letter in his hand.
"This is an order for your liberation, Monsieur de Tiernay," said he;
"you are free."
"Am I reinstated in my grade?" asked I, eagerly.
He shook his head, and said nothing.
"Is there no mention of my restoration to the service?"
"None, sir."
"Then, what is to become of me--to what end am I liberated?" cried I,
passionately.
"Paris is a great city, there is a wide world beyond it, and a man so
young as you are must have few resources, or he will carve out a good
career for himself."
"Say, rather, he must have few resentments, sir," cried I, bitterly, "or
he will easily hit upon a bad one;" and with this, I packed up the few
articles I possessed, and prepared to depart.
I remember it well; it was between two and three o'clock of the
afternoon, on a bright day in spring, that I stood on the Quai Voltaire,
a very small packet of clothes in a bundle in one hand, and a cane in
the other, something short of three louis in my purse, and as much
depression in my heart as ever settled down in that of a youth not full
nineteen. Liberty is a glorious thing, and mine had been periled often
enough, to give me a hearty appreciation of its blessing; but at that
moment, as I stood friendless and companionless in a great thoroughfare
of a great city, I almost wished myself back again within the dreary
walls of the Temple, for somehow it felt like home! It is true one must
have had a lonely lot in life before he could surround the cell of a
prison with such attributes as these! Perhaps I have more of the
cat-like affection for a particular spot than most men; but I do find
that I attach myself to the walls with a tenacity that strengthens as I
grow older, and like my brother parasite, the ivy, my grasp becomes more
rigid the longer I cling.
If I know of few merely sensual gratifications higher than a lounge
through Paris, at the flood-tide of its population, watching the varied
hues and complexions of its strange inhabitants, displaying, as they do
in feature, air, and gesture, so much more of character and purpose than
other people, so also do I feel that there is something indescribably
miserable in being alone, unknown, and unnoticed in that vast throng,
destitute of means for the present, and devoid of hope for the future.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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