Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. V, No. XXIX., October, 1852Various
Religion
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. V, No. XXIX., October, 1852
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
Such was one of the tales told across the College table; and yet it
was not a very sad or solemn place; and many a lighter and a gayer
anecdote served to cheer up the heart after such sad pictures. There
was a great deal of originality, too, at the table, which amused, if it
did not interest. There was Doctor W---- there, who afterward became
headmaster of a celebrated public school, and who was in reality a very
eccentric man always affecting a most commonplace exterior. The most
extraordinary, however, was Mr. R----, celebrated for occupying many
hours every morning in shaving himself, an operation, all the accidents
of which we generally, in this country, avoid by the precaution of
trusting it to others. The process, however, of Mr. R---- who never
confided in a barber, was this. He lathered and shaved one side of his
face: then read a passage of Thucydides. Then he lathered and shaved
the other side, read another passage, and then began again; and so
on ad infinitum, or until somebody came in and dragged him out. His
notions, however, were more extraordinary even than his habits. He used
to contend, and did that night, that man having been created immortal,
and having only lost his immortality by the knowledge of good and
evil, it was in reality only the fear engendered by that knowledge
which caused him to decay, or die. In vain gray hairs, a shriveled
skin, defaulting teeth, warned him of the fragility of himself and his
hypothesis: he still maintained dogmatically, that unless man were fool
enough to be afraid, there would be no occasion for him to die at all.
He actually carried his doctrine to the grave with him; for during
another visit to Cambridge, many years after, I heard the close of his
strange history. Feeling himself somewhat feeble, he went, several
years after I saw him, to reside at Richmond, near London, where "the
air is delicate." There a chronic disease under which he had been
long laboring, assumed a serious form; and his friends and relations
persuaded him to send for a physician. The physician giving no heed to
his notions regarding corporeal immortality, prescribed for him sagely,
but without effect. The disease went on undiminished, and it became
necessary to inform him that his life was drawing to an end.
"Fiddlestick's ends," said Mr. R----. "Life has no end, but in
consequence of fear. I am not the least afraid in the world; and hang
me if I die, in spite of you all. Give me my coat and hat, John. I will
go out and take a walk."
"By no means," cried the doctor. "You will only hasten the catastrophe,
my dear sir, before any of your affairs are settled."
"Why, sir, you have hardly been able to walk across the room for this
fortnight. You will never get half way up the hill;" said his faithful
servant.
"Sir, you are at this moment in a dying state," said the provoked
doctor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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