Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. V, No. XXV, June, 1852Various
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. V, No. XXV, June, 1852
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
SQUIRE.--"Unoffending! Upset me amidst a thistle-bed in my own village
green. I remember it. Well, what did he say _had_ become of the donkey?"
PARSON.--"He said but one word; but that showed all the vindictiveness
of his disposition. He said it with a horrid wink, that made my
blood run cold. 'What's become of your poor donkey?' said I, and he
answered--"
SQUIRE.--"Go on. He answered--"
PARSON.--"'Sausages.'"
SQUIRE.--"Sausages! Like enough; and sold to the poor; and that's what
the poor will come to if they listen to such revolutionizing villains.
Sausages! Donkey sausages!--(spitting)--'Tis as bad as eating one
another; perfect cannibalism."
Leonard, who had been thrown into grave thought by the history of
Sprott and the village genius, now pressing the Parson's hand, asked
permission to wait on him before Mr. Dale quitted London; and was about
to withdraw, when the Parson, gently detaining him, said, "No; don't
leave me yet, Leonard--I have so much to ask you, and to talk about.
I shall be at leisure shortly. We are just now going to call on a
relation of the Squire's, whom you must recollect, I am sure--Captain
Higginbotham--Barnabas Higginbotham. He is very poorly."
"And I am sure he would take it kind in you to call, too," said the
Squire, with great good-nature.
LEONARD.--"Nay, sir, would not that be a great liberty?"
SQUIRE.--"Liberty! To ask a poor sick gentleman how he is? Nonsense.
And I say, sir, perhaps, as no doubt you have been living in town, and
know more of new-fangled notions than I do--perhaps you can tell us
whether or not it is all humbug, that new way of doctoring people?"
"What new way, sir? There are so many."
"Are there? Folks in London _do_ look uncommonly sickly. But my
poor cousin (he was never a Solomon) has got hold, he says, of a
homely--homely--what's the word, Parson?"
PARSON.--"Homoeopathist."
SQUIRE.--"That's it. You see the Captain went to live with one Sharpe
Currie, a relation who had a great deal of money, and very little
liver;--made the one, and left much of the other in Ingee, you
understand. The Captain had _expectations_ of the money. Very natural,
I dare say; but, Lord, sir! what do you think has happened? Sharpe
Currie has done him! Would not die, sir; got back his liver, and the
Captain has lost his own. Strangest thing you ever heard. And then the
ungrateful old Nabob has dismissed the Captain, saying, 'He can't bear
to have invalids about him;' and is going to marry, and I have no doubt
will have children by the dozen!"
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