Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. V, No. XXV, June, 1852Various
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol. V, No. XXV, June, 1852
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
"Cousin William," replied the poor Captain, "I am sure I never
calculated; but still, if you had seen that deceitful man's
good-for-nothing face--as yellow as a guinea--and have gone through
all I've gone through, you would have felt cut to the heart as I do.
I can't bear ingratitude. I never could. But let it pass. Will that
gentleman take a chair?"
PARSON.--"Mr. Fairfield has kindly called with us, because he knows
something of this system of homoeopathy which you have adopted, and
may, perhaps, know the practitioner. What is the name of your doctor?"
CAPTAIN (looking at his watch).--"That reminds me, (swallowing a
globule.) A great relief these little pills--after the physic I've
taken to please that malignant man. He always tried his doctor's stuff
upon me. But there's another world, and a juster!"
With that pious conclusion, the Captain again began to weep.
"Touched," muttered the Squire, with his forefinger on his forehead.
"You seem to have a good tidy sort of nurse here, Cousin Barnabas. I
hope she's pleasant, and lively, and don't let you take on so."
"Hist! don't talk of her. All mercenary; every bit of her fawning.
Would you believe it? I give her ten shillings a week, besides all
that goes down of my pats of butter and rolls, and I overheard
the jade saying to the laundress that 'I could not last long; and
she'd--EXPECTATIONS!' Ah, Mr. Dale, when one thinks of the sinfulness
there is in this life! But I'll not think of it. No--I'll not. Let us
change the subject You were asking my doctor's name? It is--"
Here the woman 'with expectations' threw open the door, and suddenly
announced--"DR. MORGAN."
CHAPTER IV.
The Parson started, and so did Leonard.
The Homoeopathist did not at first notice either. With an unobservant
bow to the visitors, he went straight to the patient, and asked, "How
go the symptoms?"
Therewith the Captain commenced, in a tone of voice like a schoolboy
reciting the catalogue of the ships in Homer. He had been evidently
conning the symptoms, and learning them by heart. Nor was there a
single nook or corner in his anatomical organization, so far as the
Captain was acquainted with that structure, but what some symptom or
other was dragged therefrom, and exposed to day. The Squire listened
with horror to the morbific inventory--muttering at each dread
interval, "Bless me! Lord bless me! What, more still! Death would be
a very happy release!" Meanwhile the Doctor endured the recital with
exemplary patience, noting down in the leaves of his pocket-book what
appeared to him the salient points in this fortress of disease to which
he had laid siege, and then, drawing forth a minute paper, said--
"Capital--nothing can be better. This must be dissolved in eight
table-spoonfuls of water; one spoonful every two hours."
"Table-spoonful?"
"Table-spoonful."
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