Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Volume 1, No. 2, July, 1850.Various
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Volume 1, No. 2, July, 1850.
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
Hour after hour I walked the streets; the mere act of motion seemed to
divert my grief, and it was only when foot-sore and weary, that I could
march no longer, and my sorrows came back in full force, and overwhelmed
me in their flow. It was less pride or shame than a sense of my utter
helplessness, that prevented me addressing any one of the hundreds who
passed me. I bethought me of my inability to do any thing for my own
support, and it was this consciousness that served to weigh me down more
than all else; and yet I felt with what devotion I could serve him who
would but treat me with the kindness he might bestow upon his dog; I
fancied with what zeal I could descend to very slavery for one word of
affection. The streets were crowded with people; groups were gathered
here and there, either listening to some mob orator of the day, or
hearing the newspapers read aloud. I tried, by forcing my way into the
crowd, to feel myself "one of them," and to think that I had my share of
interest in what was going forward, but in vain. Of the topics discussed
I knew nothing, and of the bystanders none even noticed me.
High-swelling phrases met the ear at every moment, that sounded
strangely enough to me. They spoke of Fraternity--of that brotherhood
which linked man to man in close affection; of Equality--that made all
sharers in this world's goods; of Liberty--that gave freedom to every
noble aspiration and generous thought; and, for an instant, carried away
by the glorious illusion, I even forgot my solitary condition, and felt
proud of my heritage as a youth of France I looked around me, however,
and what faces met my gaze! The same fearful countenances I had seen
around the scaffold: the wretches, blood-stained, and influenced by
passion, their bloated cheeks and strained eye-balls glowing with
intemperance; their oaths, their gestures, their very voices having
something terrible in them. The mockery soon disgusted me, and I moved
away, again to wander about without object or direction through the
weary streets. It was past midnight when I found myself, without knowing
where I was, in a large open space, in the midst of which a solitary
lamp was burning. I approached it, and, to my horror, saw that it was
the guillotine, over which, in mournful cadence, a lantern swung,
creaking its chain as the night-wind stirred it. The dim outline of the
fearful scaffold, the fitful light that fell upon the platform, and the
silence, all conspired to strike terror into my heart; all I had so
lately witnessed seemed to rise up again before me, and the victims
seemed to stand up again, pale, and livid, and shuddering as last I saw
them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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