Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Volume 1, No. 4, September, 1850Various
History
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Volume 1, No. 4, September, 1850
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
He took up one of the rejected manuscripts in his hand: it was a
legendary poem, modeled something after the style of Byron, though the
young author would have violently denied the resemblance. He thought of
the pains he had bestowed on it--of the amount of thought and
dreams--the sick, languid headaches, the pained breast, the weary mind
it had so often occasioned him; then he saw the marks of tears on
it--the gush of tears which had come as if to extinguish the fire of
madness which had kindled in his brain. When he saw that manuscript
returned to him, the marks of the tears were there staining the outside
page. He looked fixedly on that manuscript, and his thin face became
darker, and more expressive of all that is hopeless in human sorrow;
the bright light of success shone as if so far away from him now--away
at an endless distance, which neither his strength of body or mind could
ever carry him over.
At that moment the sharp, rapid knock of the postman sounded in his
ears. His heart leaped up, and then suddenly sank with suffocating fear,
for the dark mood of despair was on him--could it be another returned
manuscript? He had only one now in the hands of a publisher; the one on
which he had expended all his powers--the one to which he had trusted
most: it was a tragedy. He had dreamed the preceding night that it had
been accepted; he had dreamed it had brought him showers of gold; he had
been for a moment happy beyond the bounds of human happiness, though he
had awoke with a sense of horror on his mind, he knew not why. The
publisher to whom he had sent his tragedy was to present it to the
manager of one of the London theatres. Had it been taken, performed,
successful?--a dream of glory, as if heaven had opened on him,
bewildered his senses.
The door was rudely pushed open; his mother entered, and flung the
manuscript of the returned tragedy on the table.
"There--there's another of them!" she cried, rage choked her voice for a
moment.
Andrew was stunned. Despair seemed to have frozen him all at once into a
statue. He mechanically took up the packet, and, opening it, he read the
cold, polite, brief note, which told of the rejection of his play both
by theatres and publishers.
"Idiot--fool--scribbling fool!"
The unfortunate poet's mother sank into a chair, as if unable to support
the force of her anger.
"Fool!--scribbling madman! will ye never give over?"
Andrew made no answer; but every one of his mother's furious words sank
into his brain, adding to the force of his unutterable misery.
"Will ye go now, and take to some other trade, will ye?--will ye, I
say?"
Andrew's lips moved for a moment, but no sound came from them.
"Will ye go out, and make money, I say, at some sensible work? Make
money for me, will you? I'll force you out to make money at some work by
which there's money to be made; not the like of that idiot writing of
yours, curse it. Answer me, and tell me you'll go out and work for money
now?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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