Harry Joscelyn; vol. 1 of 3Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
Harry Joscelyn; vol. 1 of 3
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Families -- England -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction
This was a question which Joan could not answer to herself. She thought
over a great many things during the unaccustomed vigil. Never before had
her mother’s anxieties and “fuss” appeared as they now did to Joan with
a certain amount of reason in them. Certainly father was getting beyond
bearing, she said to herself. He was worse the older he grew. She had
told him that she was the best servant he had in the house, though she
got no wages, and it was true. If she liked “to take a situation” she
could earn excellent wages, and get praise instead of abuse for what she
did. She was not a person to be put upon in any way, and yet there were
times when he “put upon” even her. The contemplation of all this did
not move her to any impulses of furious indignation, as Harry was moved,
but she thought, lying there in the grey dawn, that it would have to be
put a stop to somehow. As for taking a situation, that was out of the
question. Joan was a very homely woman, not much better educated than
the dairy-maid, and accustomed to none of the softnesses of life, but
yet she was Miss Joscelyn of the White House, and nothing could have
obliterated from her mind the consciousness of this dignity which gave
her nothing, and yet was everything to her. Possessing this rank, it was
impossible for her to “take a situation.” She did not mind what she did
in her father’s house, but to earn money would have been a degradation.
She regretted it even, for she knew very well that she was a capable
person, able to “put her hand” to many things; but it was as
indisputable as if she had been Princess Royal of an ancient kingdom.
Could she have done this, and taken her mother away, and supported her
by the work of her own hands, she would have been now wound up to do it;
but, as it was impossible, she cast about in her mind what else she
could do to mend matters. Father was too bad, there was no denying
that; he had gone a great deal too far, and it would not be possible to
put up with him much longer. She concocted several speeches to be made
to him, but none of them seemed to her sufficient. To be sure, on the
other hand, mother would make a fuss. She would not take anything
easily. To see her excitement and anxiety over the smallest matters was
enough to provoke even a patient temper. She could not take things as
they came; that was a kind of excuse, perhaps, for father’s violence.
Joan turned over all these things in her mind, as if her parents stood
before the bar and it was her business to judge them. A woman of thirty
cannot go on with those childish fictions of reverence which make
criticism a sin. Indeed, even a child, the youngest, unconsciously
criticises as soon as it is able to think, and we are all standing
before the most awful of tribunals unawares when we live our lives and
show forth our motives before our babies; and Joan had long ceased to be
a baby. She saw her father and mother all round, and estimated them
calmly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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