College stories; College students -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction; Short stories, American
“Oh, these?” Billy allowed his feet to ramble among the volumes on the
floor. “Oh, they’re just notes--History and French and things; there
were no matches in my room, and I was in a hurry, so I had to bring them
all. The Literature ones are there too; but they’re rather--rather--what
shall I say?” He refrained delicately from saying what was the simple
truth,--that his notes on all subjects were an illegible muddle,
beginning nowhere--arriving nowhere. “Things come to me at such odd
times,” he went on, “I just jot them down. Anyhow you won’t need notes;
we merely want you to give us some idea to go by,” he fluttered his
slender hand comprehensively, “an idea of literature.”
“Yes,” put in Dilly, stirred by the practical common sense of the
suggestion, “the examination, I think, is about literature.”
“You _think_--good God, child, don’t you _know_?” Haydock mopped his
forehead on the back of his arm, and stared at the two incredulously.
“Oh, he’ll catch on all right,” said Billy, easily. “You see the course
only came once a week, and Darnell lectures so fast that, sitting away
in the back of the room as we do--”
“You prefer, on the whole, to stay away entirely, or make the hour pass
as rapidly as possible. Yes, yes, I understand,” interrupted Haydock,
drily. He picked up one of Billy’s books marked “English 28,” and opened
it at random, to a page devoted to the diagrams and scores of the
“Harvard University Tit Tat Too and Cent Matching Association.
Originators and Sole Proprietors, William Prescott Ware and Dilford
Bancroft. Honorary member: President Eliot.” On the page following was a
fragmentary list of the writers whose lives and achievements had been
taken up in the course. After the name of Jane Austen, came the
announcement, in parentheses, that “this woman was a man.” The
startling bit of literary gossip was annotated by: “I was mistaken--it
was George Eliot who was a woman.”
“That almost flunked me at the hour exam,” explained Billy, diffidently.
“They’re so fussy about things here.” He was looking over Haydock’s
shoulder. “It would have, I think, if I hadn’t thrown a new light on the
temperament of Swift.”
“I’ll warrant you did,” said Haydock. “What on earth is this?” The list
was followed by page after page of scrappy-looking verse.
“Oh, that’s the Rhyming Road,” exclaimed Billy, not without pride. “It
sums everything up and helps the memory. See now--I never can forget
about that old Eliot woman as long as I live.” Haydock followed Billy’s
guiding finger, and read a stanza that began:--
“Oh, heavens, oh, heavens,
Miss Mary Ann Evans,
Why did you change your name?
But I’m on to you, Mary,
You wary old fairy--”
“And this one on Matthew Arnold,” continued Billy, “gives the whole man
away at once--”
“Matthew Arnold--he’s all right,
Full of sweetness, full of light.”
“And Richardson--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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