It was the third night after his interview with his former wife. He
reached the hut after dark, by various by-paths over the wide commons
stretching between it and X--the station at which he now generally
alighted. He carried in his pocket some evening newspapers, a new
anthology, and a novel. Owing to an injection of morphia--a habit to
which he had only lately taken--he felt unusually fit, and his brain was
unusually alert. At the same time he had had a disagreeable interview
with a doctor that morning who had been insisting on Sanatorium treatment
if the remaining lung was to be preserved and his life prolonged. He did
not want to prolong his life, but only to avoid the beastliness of pain.
It seemed to him that morphia--good stuff!--was going to do that for him.
Why hadn't he begun it before? But his brain was queer--he was conscious
of that. He had asked the doctor about some curious mental symptoms. The
reply was that phthisis was often accompanied by them.
Obsession--fixed ideas--in the medical sense: half of him,
psychologically, was quite conscious that the other half was under their
influence. The sound self was observing the unsound self, but apparently
with no power over it. Otherwise how was it that he was here again,
hiding like a wild beast in a lair, less than a mile from Great End Farm,
and Rachel Henderson?
He had found his way to London in the small hours of the day following
his scene with Rachel, intending to keep his promise, and let his former
wife alone. The cashing of Rachel's cheque had given him and Anita some
agreeable moments; though Anita was growing disturbed that he would not
tell her where the money came from. They had found fresh lodgings in a
really respectable Bloomsbury street; they had both bought clothes, and
little Netta had been rigged out. Delane had magnificently compounded
with his most pressing creditors, and had taken Anita to a theatre. But
he had been discontented with her appearance there. She had really lost
all her good looks. If it hadn't been for the kid--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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