"Not the same--no, not the same! But if I cared for you before, Rachel--I
care for you ten thousand times more now. Don't you see?--it will be the
same with him?"
Rachel shook her head.
"No--a _man's_ different," she repeated, "a man's different!"
"Anyway, you _must_," said Janet resolutely, "you know you must. You
don't need me to tell you."
Rachel wrenched herself away with a little moan and hid her face in her
hands as she leaned against the mantelpiece. Janet, looking up, and
transfigured by that spiritual energy, that ultimate instinctive faith
which was the root force in her, went on, pleading.
"Dear Rachel, one goes on living side by side--doing one's daily
work--and thinking just one's ordinary thoughts--and all the time one
never speaks of the biggest things of all--the only things that matter,
really. Isn't it God that matters--and the law in our hearts? If we break
it--if we aren't true--if we wrong those that love us--if we injure and
deceive--how will it be when we grow old--when we come to die? Whatever
our gain--we shall have lost our souls?"
"You think I should injure him by marrying him?" cried Rachel.
"No--no! A thousand times, no! But by deceiving him--by not trusting
him--with all your heart, and all your life--that would be the worst
injury."
"How do you know all there may have been in his life?" said Rachel,
vehemently--"I don't ask."
"I think you do know."
Rachel considered the words, finally dropping her face again out of
sight.
"Well, I dare say I do!" she said wearily. "Of course he's a hundred
times too good for me."
"Don't turn it off like that! It's for oneself one has to think--one's
own fulfilling of the law. Love--_is_ the fulfilling of the law. And love
means trust--and truth."
Janet's voice sank. She had said her say. Rachel was silent for some
time, and Janet sat motionless. The clock and the fire were the only
sounds. At last Rachel moved. With a long sigh, she pressed back the
ruffled hair from her temples, and standing tiptoe before a small mirror
that hung over the mantelpiece, she began to pin up some coils that had
broken loose. When that was done, she turned slowly towards Janet.
"Very well. That's settled. How shall it be done? Shall I write it or say
it?"
Janet gasped a little between laughing and crying. Then she caught
Rachel's cold unresisting hand, and laid it tenderly against her own
cheek.
"Write it."
"All right." The voice was that of an automaton. "How shall I send it?"
"Would you--would you trust me to take it?"
"You mean--you'd talk to him?"
"If you gave me leave."
Rachel thought a little, and then made a scarcely perceptible sign of
assent. A few more words passed as to the best time at which to find
Ellesborough at leisure. It was decided that Janet should aim at catching
him in the midday dinner hour. "I should bicycle, and get home before
dark."
"And now let's talk of something else," said Rachel, imperiously.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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