So he agreed to go, and I said I would have a girl friend to
stay with me. But, of course, as soon as he was gone, I just left the
house and departed. I had got evidence enough by then to set me
free--about the Italian girl. I met my brother in Winnipeg. We went to
his lawyers together, and I began proceedings--"
She stopped abruptly. "The rest I told you.--_No!_--I've told you the
horrible things--now I'll say something of the things which--have made
life worth living again. Till the divorce was settled I went back to my
brother in Toronto. I dropped my married name then and called myself
Henderson. And then I came home--because my mother's brother, who was a
manufacturer in Bradford, wrote to ask me. But when I arrived he was
dead, and he had left me three thousand pounds. Then I went to Swanley
and got trained for farm-work. And I found Janet Leighton, and we made
friends. And I love farm-work--and I love Janet--and the whole world
looks so different to me! Why, of course, I didn't want to be reminded of
that old horrible life! I didn't want people to say, 'Mrs. Delane? Who
and where is her husband? Is he dead?' 'No--she's divorced.' 'Why?'
There's!--don't you see?--all the old vile business over again! So I cut
it all!"
She paused--resuming in another voice--hesitating and uncertain,--
"And yet--it seems--you can't do a simple thing like that
without--hurting somebody--injuring somebody. I can't help it! I didn't
mean to deceive _you_. But I had a right to get free from the old life
if I could!"
She threw back her head proudly. Her eyes were full of tears. Then she
rose impetuously.
"There!--I've told you. I suppose you don't want to be friends with me
any more. It was rotten of me, I know, for, of course--I saw--you seemed
to be getting to care for me. I told Janet when we set up work together
that I wasn't a bad woman. And I'm not. But I'm weak. You'd better not
trust me. And besides--I fell into the mud--and I expect it sticks to me
still!"
She spoke with passionate animation--almost fierceness. While through her
inner mind there ran the thought, "I've told him!--I've told him! If he
doesn't understand, it's not my fault. I can always say, 'I _did_ tell
you--about Roger--_and the rest_!--as much as I was bound to tell you.'
Why should I make him miserable--and destroy my own chances with him for
_nothing_?"
They stood fronting each other. Over the fine bronzed face of the
forester there ran a ripple of profound emotion--nostril and lip--and
eye. Then she found herself in his arms--with no power to resist or free
herself. Two or three deep, involuntary sobs--sobs of excitement--shook
her, as she felt his kisses on her cheek.
"Darling!--I'll try and make up to you--for all you've suffered. Poor
child!--poor little Rachel!"
She clung to him, a great wave of passion sweeping through her also. She
thought, "Now I shall be happy!--and I shall make him happy, too. Of
course I shall!--I'm doing quite right."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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