"Then try to be happy," Hazel said persuasively, giving him her hand,
"and don’t feel crushed any more. You shall—shall stay with us, you
know, often, and we will all be such friends. Still, of course, that
will not be for years yet," she added, blushing.
But this was too much for his fortitude. He dropped Hazel’s hand, and,
turning very pale, he walked a few steps unsteadily, leaned against a
tree as if for support, and, sinking his head upon his arm, stood
motionless, save for the laboured heaving of his breast. Hazel hovered
about him in greatest distress.
"Digby, Digby," she cried, "I never thought you would mind so much. You
shall see a good deal of me; you shall indeed. I will ask him—I will
ask him if he would mind your _living_ with us, if that would comfort
you," she added desperately. "But you must wait. We don’t want to—we
don’t want to do it yet for years."
"Hazel," Digby answered, speaking in short, panting breaths, "you don’t
know what you are saying. How should you? You are only a child. But
for God’s sake, don’t tantalise a poor wretch like me with such cruel
words."
"Cruel?" poor Hazel exclaimed, with a sob. "When I am thinking all the
time of what I can do and say and promise to comfort you! What can you
mean, Digby? And a child indeed! Me a child!"
Digby raised his head, and regarded her with haggard eyes. A very
tender smile played over his drawn features. He seemed suddenly to have
become a grave and thoughtful man—ten years older than the Digby she had
known but a few months since.
"Yes," he said, quietly persistent, setting his back to the tree, and
folding his arms upon his breast, "a child, a sweet, kind, impulsive,
gentle little girl; and as such you are distractingly adorable.
Well"—he straightened himself and advanced a few paces—"God make the man
of your choice worthy of you, and capable of loving you as I would have
loved you."
"I did not exactly choose him," Hazel said quickly, seeking to justify
herself in Digby’s eyes, "he—he chose me. Not but that I like being
engaged to him very much," she added hastily, fearful lest he should
misunderstand her.
But Digby understood her better than she understood herself. He read
the new happiness in her face aright—the shy and almost tender light in
her eyes when she spoke of Paul. And he envied Paul, as he had envied
no man yet, the hour to come when the realisation of her love for him
should dawn and break over her soul. He smiled again, a brave smile,
and held out his hand.
"Good-bye," he said, making a resolute effort to compose himself. "You
are just home: I will leave you here."
"You won’t come in?" she asked piteously, holding him fast.
"No," he said; "I could not face the others to-day. And don’t let me
feel I have been a brute and distressed you. I shall get over it some
day—and——"
"Do you think you will soon?" Hazel asked eagerly, raising tearful eyes
to his face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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