Family life -- Fiction; Farm life -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
"You shall know it all from my own lips," she said, interrupting him;
"you have a right to know; and then you will see that it cannot be,"
and with bowed head, and low, rapid, passionate utterance, she poured
out her story. "That woman, his wife," she concluded, "made me feel
that I was of the scum and offscouring of the earth, and they've made
me feel so here, too--even these wretched paupers. So the world will
look on me till God takes me to my mother. O, thank God! She don't
know. Don' you see, now?" she asked, raising her despairing eyes from
which agony had dried all tears.
"Yes, I see you do," she added desperately, "for even you have turned
from me."
"Confound it!" cried Holcroft, standing up and searching his pockets
for a handkerchief. "I--I--I'd like--like to choke that fellow. If I
could get my hands on him, there'd be trouble. Turn away from you, you
poor wronged creature! Don't you see I'm so sorry for you that I'm
making a fool of myself? I, who couldn't shed a tear over my own
troubles--there, there,--come now, let us be sensible. Let's get back
to business, for I can't stand this kind of thing at all. I'm so
confused betwixt rage at him and pity for you--Let me see; this is
where we were: I want someone to take care of my home, and you want a
home. That's all there is about it now. If you say so, I'll make you
Mrs. Holcroft in an hour."
"I did not mean to work upon your sympathies, only to tell you the
truth. God bless you! That the impulses of your heart are so kind and
merciful. But let me be true to you as well as to myself. Go away and
think it all over calmly and quietly. Even for the sake of being
rescued from a life that I dread far more than death, I cannot let you
do that which you may regret unspeakably. Do not think I misunderstand
your offer. It's the only one I could think of, and I would not have
thought of it if you had not spoke. I have no heart to give. I could
be a wife only in name, but I could work like a slave for protection
from a cruel, jeering world; I could hope for something like peace and
respite from suffering if I only had a safe refuge. But I must not
have these if it is not right and best. Good to me must not come
through wrong to you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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