He that will not when he may; vol. IOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. I
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Lady Markham was angry; she could not help it. And there was an
additional sting in the situation from the fact that she felt she had
brought it upon herself. She had taken an injudicious step. In her
desire to relieve her own mind, she had compromised Paul. Her own
alarms, her suspicion and doubt, had realised themselves. She blamed
Spears all the more bitterly that in her heart she wanted not to be
obliged to blame herself. But by and by the needle veered round to that
point of the moral compass which in a candid mind it is so ready to stop
at, self-accusation. Why did she give this man the occasion of insulting
her, and the girl the occasion of defying her? It was her own fault. She
ought not, above all, to have compromised her son. This became the most
terrible thought of all as she dwelt upon it. Instead of doing good she
had done harm; instead of relieving Paul from the influence of the
demagogue, she had riveted and strengthened his connection with the
demagogue’s family who were worse, much worse than himself. Was it
possible that Paul, _her_ son, the brother of Alice, could have chosen
from all the world such a girl as Janet Spears? Her heart thrilled with
the wonder of it, the disappointment of it. Was that all he could find
in woman? and she herself had helped to cement the tie between them.
How could she ever forgive herself? She walked along quickly, recovering
her outward composure, but more and more troubled in mind as she thought
upon what she had done. Why did she go? how, she asked herself, being,
like most women, ready to distrust herself and give in to the common
opinion on the subject whenever anything went wrong with her--how could
she forget that it was always dangerous for a woman to interfere? She
was in the very deepest of these painful thoughts, angry with herself,
and deeply distressed by the apparent consequences of her ill-advised
mission, when, turning the corner of the little street which brought her
into one of the larger thoroughfares, she suddenly, without any warning,
found herself face to face with Paul. The surprise was so great that she
had no time to put on any defences, to prepare for questions and
astonishment on his side. They met without a moment’s warning, the two
people who might have been supposed least likely to encounter each other
at such a time and place.
“Paul!” she cried, with a sensation of fright. And he stopped, looked at
her sternly, and cast a jealous inquiring look along the street by which
she had so evidently come.
“Mother! what are you doing here?” he said.
“I came out--to take a walk, as it was so fine a morning,” she said,
forcing a smile. Then Lady Markham came to herself and perceived the
folly of false pretences. “No--I will not try to deceive you, Paul. I
have been visiting Mr. Spears,” she said.
“Visiting Spears!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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