He that will not when he may; vol. IOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. I
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
agitations. Yes, it was over; there was no longer any question of what
might or might not be. His fate was settled; he was a member of Spears’s
family, not of Sir William Markham’s. That sense of calm which follows a
great decision, and at the same time of proud resignation which succeeds
a sacrifice exacted, calmed his mind. Somehow, Paul could not have told
how, he felt himself a sort of sacrificial offering to justice and
nature, making the most eloquent of protests against wrong, tyranny,
injustice, and everything that was evil in society. With the dignity of
a noble victim, and with a consciousness of innate, inborn, but most
illogical superiority to fate, he drew the glue-pot and the tools
towards him, and began to do the workman’s work. Nothing could have been
more illogical; for the superiority of labour was one of the first
principles of his creed, and to make pictures-frames was a respectable
occupation by which a man might live. Yet it was with a smile of
unspeakable superiority that he began his first day’s real work,
enjoying the sensation of voluntary humility, of doing what it was
beneath him to do.
Thus they went on in silence for some time: Paul working clumsily
enough, with a sense of the humour implied in his adoption of the trade,
which made it amusing in its novelty and inappropriateness, but which
was most unlike the steady devotion of a man who felt this work to be
his duty; while Spears pursued his with a fury of invention which
denoted the perturbation of his mind. He flung the drooping bells of the
foxglove upon his paper and erected its splendid stalk with an energy
and force which was like a defiance, holding the somewhat coarse blue
pencil in his hand like a sword, screwing his mouth and putting his
limbs into every contortion possible, as he sat, with his stool pushed
as far as might be from the table, and all the upper part of his person
overhanging it. If it had been an eagle or a lion he was drawing the
force and expression of his whole figure would have been more
appropriate. As it was, the foxglove bristled with a kind of scornful
defiance, yet drooped with something of melancholy, as an eagle might
have done in all its pride of strength, yet with the pathos of all
speechless creatures in its eyes. In this particular, though he was an
actor, he was speechless as the eagle or the wildly noble flower. He had
seen a sight which had taken all speech out of him, as it might have
done from Shakespeare. He had seen a something unknown, a small, vulgar,
incomprehensible spirit, to him unrecognisable, a thing out of his
cognisance, looking at him through the eyes of his child. What could he
say to such a revelation? Nothing. It took his voice from him and almost
his breath. He had not been able to endure the placid work which left
him free for thought. Say that his designing did not reach a very
ethereal point of art; but it was the highest exercise of skill to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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