He that will not when he may; vol. IOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. I
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Sir William, seated in his library by himself, had been thinking, with a
difference, much the same thoughts. With a compunction and compassion
indescribable, he had been thinking of his son. Paul, with all his
foolish democratical notions, was yet the most aristocratic, the most
imperious of young men, knowing nothing of the evils he was so ready to
take upon him, generous in giving, but to whom it would be bitterness
itself to receive. Would Paul ever turn upon him, upbraid him, curse
him? A shiver came over his father at the thought--and along with this a
horrible sense of the position in which this haughty young heir would
find himself, if---- How was it that such a possibility had altogether
escaped his mind? He could not tell: he did not know how to answer
himself. Forty years is a large slice out of a man’s life. Even had it
been some one fully known and loved, it would be unlikely that you
should think of him with any persistency of reference after a separation
of forty years--and a child, an infant, a thing with no personality at
all! But still, he asked himself, had he never thought when Paul was
born of the former time, far away in the morning haze of youth, when a
young mother and a child had called forth his interest? Yes, he had
thought of it; he had thought with alarm of what had happened then; he
had been more anxious about his young wife than young husbands usually
are--but no more. It had never occurred to him that his child had
anything to do with the other. Strange blindness in a man so accurate!
He said to himself, “It will come to nothing; it will be arranged; all
will be well:” but in the same breath he said, “Poor Paul! God help him!
What would happen to Paul, if----”
He had not been able to do anything all day for thinking of this: he had
kept his blue-book before him, but he had made nothing of it. Sir
William, whose understood creed it was that public affairs went before
everything, could pay no attention to these public affairs. When the
letters came in, in the evening, he received them languidly, not feeling
that there was anything there which could interest him so much as his
own thoughts. When he saw Paul’s handwriting an unusual stir arose in
his elderly bosom. But he put it down, and took up a letter from his
chief, which would be no doubt of far more importance to the country,
with a last attempt to conquer himself. But the words of his chiefs
letter had no sense to him; he could not understand what there was to be
so anxious about. Smith’s candidature for Bannockshire--what did it
matter? He made a rapid and novel reflection to himself about the
trifling character of the incidents which people made so much of; then
laid down the solemn sheet with its coronet, and took up the letter of
his boy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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