He that will not when he may; vol. IIOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. II
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Then she held out her hand to him, trying to smile, with her eyes full
of tears. “It shall not do you any harm eventually,” she said, “your
kindness now. Thank you for not insisting now. I have not left--Sir
William for so long a time since he was ill.”
She made a pause before her husband’s name. If it were possible that
there might be a link between him and this stranger--a link as strong
as----! It made her heart sick to think upon it; but she would not think
upon it. It flashed upon her mind only, but was not permitted to stay
there: and half because of real anxiety to get back to the sick-room,
half from a still greater eagerness to get rid of her visitor, she made
a step towards the door.
“If you will let me say so,” said Mr. Gus, “you oughtn’t to shut
yourself up in a sick-room. You may think me an enemy, but I’m no enemy.
I wish you all well. I like the children. I think I could be very fond,
if she’d let me, of Alice, and I admire you----”
“Sir!” Lady Markham said. She turned her astonished eyes upon him with a
blaze in them which would have frightened most men; then opened the door
with great stateliness and dignity, ignoring the attempt he made to do
it for her. “I must bid you good morning,” she said, making him a
curtsey worthy of a queen--then walked across the hall with the same
dignity; but as soon as she was out of sight, flew up stairs, and,
before going to her husband, went to her own room for a time to compose
herself. She felt herself outraged, insulted--a mingled sense of rage
and wonder had taken possession of her gentle soul. Who was this man,
and what could he mean by his claim upon her, his impudent expressions
of interest in the family, as if he belonged to the family? Was it not
bad enough to put a stigma upon her husband at the moment when he was
dying, and when all her thoughts were full of the tenderest veneration
for him, and recollection of all his goodness! To throw this shadow of
the sins of his youth, even vaguely, upon Sir William’s honourable,
beautiful age, was something like a crime. It was like desecration of
the holiest sanctuary. Lady Markham could not but feel indignant that
any man should seize this moment to put forth such a claim--and to make
it to _her_, disturbing her ideal, introducing doubt and shame into her
love, just at the moment when all her tenderness was most wanted! it was
cruel. And then, as if that was not enough, to assume familiarity, to
speak of her child as Alice, this stranger, this----! Delicate woman as
she was, Lady Markham, in her mind, applied as hard a word to Mr. Gus as
the severest of plainspoken men could have used. She seemed to see far,
far back in the mists of distance, a young man falling into temptation
and sin, and some deceitful girl--must it not have been a deceitful
girl?--working upon his innocence. This is how, when the heart is sore,
such blame is apportioned. He it was who must have been seduced and
deluded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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