He that will not when he may; vol. IIIOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
He that will not when he may; vol. III
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Paul could not help a furtive glance round him, a momentary review of
the position, a rapid imperceptible flash of his eyes towards Dolly, who
sat very demurely in front of the tea-urn. How glad she was of that
tea-urn! But he shook his head.
“I am afraid I shall not be able to settle myself so easily as that,” he
said.
“But why not, why not?” asked the old man; and he went on expatiating
upon the advantages of this step, “I would retire as soon as you were
ready. I have often thought of retiring. It is Dolly rather than I that
has wanted to remain. Dolly seems to think that she cannot live away
from Markham Royal.”
“Oh, no, papa,” Dolly cried, “it was only because there was no reason. I
could live--anywhere.”
“I know what you will do,” said the old man, “when I am gone, you will
come back and flutter like a little ghost about your schools and your
poor people: you will think nobody can manage them but yourself; unless
you marry, you know--unless you marry. That would make a difference. For
the peace of the new rector I must get you married, Dolly, before I
receive notice to quit, my dear.”
And he laughed with his old shrill laugh, not thinking what might be
going on in those young bosoms. That Dolly should marry anybody was a
joke to her father, and that Paul should have any feeling on the subject
never occurred to him. He cackled and laughed at his own joke, and then
he became serious, and once more impressed all the advantages of the
living upon his visitor. The curious mingling of confusion,
embarrassment, distress, and pleasure with which the two listened it
would be difficult to describe. Even Dolly, though she was abashed and
horrified by the two simple suggestions which the old man neither
intended nor dreamt of, felt a certain vague shadowy pleasure in it, as
of a thing that never could come true but yet was sweet enough as a
dream; and because of the tea-urn which hid her from Paul, felt safe,
and was almost happy in the thrill of consciousness which ran to her
finger tips. They did not see each other, either of them: and this was a
thing which was impossible, never to be. But yet it put them by each
other’s side as if they were going to set out upon life together, and
the sensation was sweet.
Paul turned it over and over in his head as he went home. It was not the
life he would have chosen, but the old man’s materialistic view of it
had for the moment a charm. The sheltered quiet life, the mild duty, the
ease and leisure, with no struggle or trouble to attain to them--was it
a temptation? He laughed out as he asked himself the question. No! Paul
might perhaps have been a missionary after the apostolic model; but a
clergyman with very little to do and a wife to do the great part of that
little for him--no, he said to himself, no! And then he sighed--for the
rectory, under those familiar skies, and little Dolly, whom he had known
since she was a baby, were very sweet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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