England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Wonderful subtle intuition of the poetic soul! Who does not know that
strange contrast of death and life? A week ago, and had I seen Bertie
from that window, I should have hailed his appearance with the wildest
amazement. But I should neither have wondered nor faltered had I seen
him this day; on the contrary, would have felt in my heart that it was
natural and fit he should be there.
But I did not see Bertie. I saw far off a homely country gig driving up
rapidly towards the house, and strained my eyes, wondering if it could
be Derwent, though he had sent me no intimation of his return. As it
came closer, however, I saw that one of the figures it contained was a
woman’s, and at last perceived that my visitors were no other than Alice
Harley and her brother Maurice. I started nervously up, and hid away my
dispatch, for I trembled to see my dear girl. What had she to do coming
here?--she who could not ask after his fate with calmness, and yet to
the bottom of her maiden heart felt that she had _no right_ to be
concerned.
Alice was very pale--I could see the nervous trembling over her whole
frame, which she subdued painfully, and with a nervous force, as she
came in. Though her voice would scarcely serve her to say the words, she
made an explanation before she asked if I had any news. “My mother sent
me,” said Alice, with bare childish simplicity, but with that breathless
gasp in her voice which I knew so well--gasp of utter despair at the
thought of enduring that suspense, and concealing it for five minutes
longer--“to know if you had any further news--if you had heard,” she
added, with a convulsive calmness, casting at me a fiery glance, defiant
of the compassion she saw in my face. I saw she meant to say his name,
to show me how firm she was, but nature was too much for Alice--she
concluded hurriedly in the baldest, briefest words--“anything more?”
I shook my head, and she sank into the nearest seat--not
fainting--people do not faint at such moments--kept alive and conscious
by a burning force of pain.
“Only the same miserable news over again,” said I, “with the same
mistake in the name; letters must come, I fear, before we can know--but
I am afraid to hope.”
A little convulsive sound came from Alice’s breast--she heard it
herself, and drew herself up after it to hide the wound still if she
could. Maurice, too, was greatly affected, though he could scarcely be
said to have known Bertie; he walked about the room in his careless
man’s way, doing everything in the world without intending it, to make
that composure we two women had wound ourselves up to,
impossible--making his lamentations as he paced about from table to
table, picking up all the books to look at them as he went and came.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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