"Drop the foolishness!" "You misunderstand me, I'm sure," said the King of Gee-Whiz. "At that time it was quite customary, indeed very fashionable, for young gentlemen to belong both to the Army and the Navy. Now, I remember with perfect distinctness that I shipped before the mast on her Majesty's submarine, the _Equator_." Uncle Jim drew a long breath. "A submarine ain't _got_ no mast," said he. "It crawls, on the bottom of the ocean." "Don't mind him, friend," interrupted Curly. "He come from the short-grass country of Kansas, and he don't know a submarine from a muley cow. Go on, King." "As I was saying," continued the latter, somewhat annoyed, "I shipped before the mast on her Majesty's submarine, the _Equator_, Captain Harry Oglethorpe commanding,--a great friend of mine, and a very brave and clever fellow. I knew him well before I got so deucedly down on my luck. But what was I saying?" "About submarines--" "Ah, yes, I remember; we left Portsmouth Harbor the 12th of August, 1357. It seemed a gruelling hard thing to us to sail just on the opening of the shooting season, but the wuzzies were troubling a bit. "One day, as Sir Harry and I were sitting on deck before the mast, having a cigarette--" "At the bottom of the sea--on deck!" gasped Uncle Jim Brothers. "Pray don't interrupt me, or I'll never get on," chided the King of Gee-Whiz, politely. "We were smoking, as I said, awfter dinner. I was remarking to Sir Harry that we were having a very good voyage over, when, as he turned to reply, an orderly rode up to us and saluted." "Rode--rode--rode up!" murmured Curly. "How could he?" "Let him alone," said Uncle Jim. "Didn't he say he couldn't remember whether he was in the Army or the Navy? The horse goes." "The orderly saluted," resumed the King of Gee-Whiz, "and said he, 'I beg pardon, but the officer of the day presents his compliments, and begs to report that the ship's a-fire, and upon the point of exploding.' "Sir Harry looked at his watch. 'Thanks,' said he. 'Present my compliments to the officer of the day, and ask how long it will be before the explosion occurs.' "'I beg pardon,' replied the orderly, 'but the officer of the day presents his compliments, and begs to say that the explosion will occur in about three minutes.' "'Very well,' said Sir Harry, 'you may go.'--'That will give us time to finish our cigarettes,' said he to me. The orderly saluted and rode away. We never saw him again. "The officer of the day was a very accurate man, very accurate indeed. In three minutes to the dot the explosion did occur. We never knew what caused it. No doubt the Admiralty Board determined that, but we were not present at the session.