England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Drama; Upper class -- England -- Drama; World War, 1914-1918 -- Drama
LADY UTTERWORD. She won't get them, Mr Mangan. Providence always has the
last word.
MANGAN [desperately]. Now you are going to come religion over me. In
this house a man's mind might as well be a football. I'm going. [He
makes for the hall, but is stopped by a hail from the Captain, who has
just emerged from his pantry].
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Whither away, Boss Mangan?
MANGAN. To hell out of this house: let that be enough for you and all
here.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. You were welcome to come: you are free to go. The wide
earth, the high seas, the spacious skies are waiting for you outside.
LADY UTTERWORD. But your things, Mr Mangan. Your bag, your comb and
brushes, your pyjamas--
HECTOR [who has just appeared in the port doorway in a handsome Arab
costume]. Why should the escaping slave take his chains with him?
MANGAN. That's right, Hushabye. Keep the pyjamas, my lady, and much good
may they do you.
HECTOR [advancing to Lady Utterword's left hand]. Let us all go out into
the night and leave everything behind us.
MANGAN. You stay where you are, the lot of you. I want no company,
especially female company.
ELLIE. Let him go. He is unhappy here. He is angry with us.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Go, Boss Mangan; and when you have found the land
where there is happiness and where there are no women, send me its
latitude and longitude; and I will join you there.
LADY UTTERWORD. You will certainly not be comfortable without your
luggage, Mr Mangan.
ELLIE [impatient]. Go, go: why don't you go? It is a heavenly night: you
can sleep on the heath. Take my waterproof to lie on: it is hanging up
in the hall.
HECTOR. Breakfast at nine, unless you prefer to breakfast with the
captain at six.
ELLIE. Good night, Alfred.
HECTOR. Alfred! [He runs back to the door and calls into the garden].
Randall, Mangan's Christian name is Alfred.
RANDALL [appearing in the starboard doorway in evening dress]. Then
Hesione wins her bet.
Mrs Hushabye appears in the port doorway. She throws her left arm round
Hector's neck: draws him with her to the back of the sofa: and throws
her right arm round Lady Utterword's neck.
MRS HUSHABYE. They wouldn't believe me, Alf.
They contemplate him.
MANGAN. Is there any more of you coming in to look at me, as if I was
the latest thing in a menagerie?
MRS HUSHABYE. You are the latest thing in this menagerie.
Before Mangan can retort, a fall of furniture is heard from upstairs:
then a pistol shot, and a yell of pain. The staring group breaks up in
consternation.
MAZZINI'S VOICE [from above]. Help! A burglar! Help!
HECTOR [his eyes blazing]. A burglar!!!
MRS HUSHABYE. No, Hector: you'll be shot [but it is too late; he has
dashed out past Mangan, who hastily moves towards the bookshelves out of
his way].
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER [blowing his whistle]. All hands aloft! [He strides out
after Hector].
LADY UTTERWORD. My diamonds! [She follows the captain].
RANDALL [rushing after her]. No. Ariadne. Let me.
ELLIE. Oh, is papa shot? [She runs out].
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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