“And I love you, too. I love both of you. I am a good woman, at least I
always used to think so. I still think so, though my reason tells me
that I cannot love two men at the same time and be a good woman. I don’t
care about that. If I am bad, it is I, and I cannot help myself for
being what I was born to be.”
She paused and waited, but her lover was still speechless.
“And who’s the Anglo-Saxon now?” she queried, with a slight smile, half
of bravery, half of amusement at the dumbness of consternation her words
had produced in him. “I have told you, without baffling, without
fluttering, my full heart and my full intention.”
“But you can’t!” he protested wildly. “You can’t love me and marry
Henry.”
“Perhaps you have not understood,” she chided gravely. “I intend to
marry Henry. I love you. I love Henry. But I cannot marry both of you.
The law will not permit. Therefore I shall marry only one of you. It is
my intention that that one be Henry.”
“Then why, why,” he demanded, “did you persuade me into remaining?”
“Because I loved you. I have already so told you.”
“If you keep this up I shall go mad!” he cried.
“I have felt like going mad over it myself many times,” she assured him.
“If you think it is easy for me thus to play the Anglo-Saxon, you are
mistaken. But no Anglo-Saxon, not even you whom I love so dearly, can
hold me in contempt because I hide the shameful secrets of the impulses
of my being. Less shameful I find it, for me to tell them, right out in
meeting, to you. If this be Anglo-Saxon, make the most of it. If it be
Spanish, and woman, and Solano, still make the most of it, for I am
Spanish, and woman——a Spanish woman of the Solanos——”
“But I don’t talk with my hands,” she added with a wan smile in the
silence that fell.
Just as he was about to speak, she hushed him, and both listened to a
crackling and rustling from the underbrush that advertised the passage
of humans.
“Listen,” she whispered hurriedly, laying her hand suddenly on his arm,
as if pleading. “I shall be finally Anglo-Saxon, and for the last time,
when I tell you what I am going to tell you. Afterward, and for always,
I shall be the baffling, fluttering, female Spaniard you have chosen for
my description. Listen: I love Henry, it is true, very true. I love you
more, much more. I shall marry Henry ... because I love him and am
pledged to him. Yet always shall I love you more.”
Before he could protest, the old Maya priest and his peon son emerged
from the underbrush close upon them. Scarcely noticing their presence,
the priest went down on his knees, exclaiming, in Spanish:
“For the first time have my eyes beheld the eyes of Chia.”
He ran the knots of the sacred tassel and began a prayer in Maya, which,
could they have understood, ran as follows:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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