It would be difficult to analyze the effect of the punishment Kirsty
had given him, but its influence was upon him through the whole of the
terrible time--none the less beneficent that his response to her
stinging blows was indignant rage. I dare hardly speculate what, had
she not defended herself so that he could not reach her, he might not
have done in the first instinctive motions of natural fury. It is
possible that only Kirsty’s skill and courage saved him from what he
would never have surmounted the shame of--taking revenge on a woman
avenging a woman’s wrong: from having deserved to be struck by a woman,
nothing but repentant shame could save him.
When he came to himself, the first bitterness of the thing over, he
could not avoid the conviction, that the playmate of his childhood,
whom once he loved best in the world, and who when a girl refused to
marry him, had come to despise him, and that righteously. The idea took
a firm hold on him, and became his most frequently recurrent thought.
The wale of Kirsty’s whip served to recall it a good many nights; and
long after that had ceased either to smart or show, the thought would
return of itself in the night-watches, and was certain to come when he
had done anything his conscience called wrong, or his judgment foolish.
The officers of his mess were mostly men of character with ideas better
at least than ordinary as to what became a man; and their influence on
one by no means of a low, though of an unstable nature, was elevating.
It is true that a change into a regiment of jolly, good-mannered,
unprincipled men would within a month have brought him to do as they
did; and in another month would have quite silenced, for a time at
least, his poor little conscience; but he was at present rising. Events
had been in his favour; after reaching India, he had no time to be
idle; the mutiny broke out, he must bestir himself, and, as I have
said, the best in him was called to the front.
He was specially capable of action with show in it. Let eyes be bent
upon him, and he would go far. The presence of his kind to see and laud
was an inspiration to him. Left to act for himself, undirected and
unseen, his courage would not have proved of the highest order.
Throughout the siege, nevertheless, he was noted for a daring that
often left the bounds of prudence far behind. More than once he was
wounded--once seriously; but even then he was in four days again at
his post. His genial manners, friendly carriage, and gay endurance
rendered him a favourite with all.
The sufferings of the besieged at length grew such, and there was so
little likelihood of the approaching army being able for some time to
relieve the place, that orders were issued by the commander-in-chief to
abandon it: every British person must be out of the city before the
night of the day following. The general in charge thereupon resolved to
take advantage of the very bad watch kept by the enemy, and steal away
in silence the same night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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