Hebrew Humor and Other EssaysChotzner, J. (Joseph)
History
Hebrew Humor and Other Essays
Chotzner, J. (Joseph)
Hebrew wit and humor -- History and criticism
“5. Have as little as possible to do with the poor. For, as they will only
send for you in hopeless and desperate cases, you will not gain any honour
or reward by attending them. Be therefore exceedingly reserved with them,
and keep them at a distance. Let them wait outside your house, and those
who pass by will look with amazement at the crowd patiently waiting to
obtain your services.
“6. Consider every medical practitioner as your natural enemy, and speak
always of him with the utmost disparagement. If he happens to be young,
then you must say that he has not had sufficient experience, and can do no
good; and if he is old, you must declare that either his eyesight is bad,
or that he is a little crazy, and is not fit to be trusted in important
cases.
“7. If asked to take part in a consultation with other physicians, you
will be acting wisely if you always loudly protest against the previous
treatment of the case by your colleagues. Whatever the issue of the case
may be, you will always be on the safe side.”
In the same satire Erter speaks in by no means flattering terms of his old
enemy, the Chief Rabbi of Lemberg, to whom he had already alluded in
another satire, entitled מאזני משקל. There he had censured him for
having published a bulky commentary on the well-known code of Jewish laws,
called _Shulchan Aruch_, under the title of ישועות יעקב, as being the
work of his own pen. But Erter shows that the contribution of the learned
divine was limited to the title-page, while the rest of it was in reality
the work of other authors. Not satisfied with this revelation, however,
Erter seizes the opportunity offered to him in the satire “Transmigration
of the Soul” to refer again to the soul of the same Rabbi, who had once
caused him such great trouble. This soul, says Erter, made him a full
confession of its origin, and declared that it had formerly belonged to a
mean, scurvy, and ill-tempered watchdog. Being too dangerous an animal to
be allowed to move freely about, it had to be kept chained to its kennel.
There it kept straining at its chain, watching all the time for any
passersby; and when it saw some one coming it began to howl and to bark
violently, and incited all the dogs in the neighbourhood to follow his
example, resulting in a deafening uproar. Woe to the person who came
within its reach without being provided with a long stick or some other
protective weapon. For the dog would attack him suddenly, and cause him
serious injuries. But, on the other hand, if the stranger were well armed,
the savage brute would, in spite of its pretended courage, retreat at once
and crouch behind its kennel. This dog once swallowed a big bone, in
consequence of which it died an untimely death, but its soul continued its
transmigration, and entered the body of a human being. When the latter
grew up and became a man he still retained the nature and the
characteristics peculiar to the canine species, or rather to a cowardly
watchdog.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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