Helbeck of Bannisdale — Volume IWard, Humphry, Mrs.
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Helbeck of Bannisdale — Volume I
Ward, Humphry, Mrs.
Religious fiction
With difficulty she found the place in another book that lay upon a chair
beside her. Then for a few minutes she lost herself in a first amazement
over that string of epithets and adjectives with which the Catholic
Church throughout the world celebrates day by day and Sunday after Sunday
the glories of Mary. The gay music, the harsh and eager voices of the
children, flowed on, the waves of incense spread throughout the chapel.
When she raised her eyes they fell upon Helbeck's dark head in the far
distance, above his server's cotta. A quick change crossed her face,
transforming it to a passionate contempt.
* * * * *
But of her no one thought--save once. The beautiful "moment" of the
ceremony had come. Father Leadham had raised the monstrance, containing
the Host, to give the Benediction. Every Sister, every child, except a
few small and tired ones, was bowed in humblest adoration.
Mr. Helbeck, too, was kneeling in the little choir. But his attention
wandered. With the exception of his walk with Father Leadham, he had been
in church since early morning, and even for him response was temporarily
exhausted. His look strayed over the chapel.
It was suddenly arrested. Above the kneeling congregation a distant face
showed plainly in the April dusk amid the dimness of incense and
painting--a girl's face, delicately white and set--a face of revolt.
"Why is she here?" was his first thought. It came with a rush of
annoyance, even resentment. But immediately other thoughts met it: "She
is lonely; she is here under my roof; she has lost her father; poor
child!"
The last mental phrase was not so much his own as an echo from Father
Leadham. In Helbeck's mind it was spoken very much as the priest had
spoken it--with that strange tenderness, at once so intimate and so
impersonal, which belongs to the spiritual relations of Catholicism. The
girl's soul--lonely, hostile, uncared for--appealed to the charity of the
believer. At the same time there was something in her defiance, her crude
disapproval of his house and his faith, that stimulated and challenged
the man. Conscious for the first time of a new conflict of feeling within
himself, he looked steadily towards her across the darkness.
It was as though he had sought and found a way to lift himself above her
young pride, her ignorant enmity. For a moment there was a curious
exaltation and tyranny in his thought. He dropped his head and prayed for
her, the words falling slow and deliberate within his consciousness. And
she could not resent it or stop it. It was an aggression before which she
was helpless; it struck down the protest of her pale look.
* * * * *
At supper, when the Sisters and their charges had departed, Father Bowles
appeared, and never before had Helbeck been so lamentably aware of the
absurdities and inferiorities of his parish priest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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