Hampstead sat regarding her thoughtfully, love and apprehension mingling
upon his face. It suddenly reoccurred to him with compelling force that
the most awful cruelty that could be inflicted would be for this
delicate and fragile woman, who to-night looked more like an
ambassadress from some other existence than a thing of flesh and blood,
to know the truth about her son. Seeing her thus smiling trustfully
through her mother-tears, thinking of all that her sweet, saint-like
confidences had meant to him, Hampstead felt a mighty resolve growing
stronger and stronger within him.
But for once Mrs. Burbeck’s intuitions were not sure, and she
misconstrued the meaning of her pastor’s silence.
"Forgive me," she pleaded in tones of self-reproach. "Here I am in the
midst of your trouble babbling of myself and my son. Yet that is like a
mother. She never sees a young man’s career blighted but she grows
suddenly apprehensive for the child of her own bosom. Now that feeling
comes to me with double force. I love you almost as a son.
Consequently, when I see my boy out there in the sun of life mounting so
buoyantly, and you, so worthy to mount, but struggling in mid-flight
under a cloud, I feel a mingling of two painful emotions. I suffer as if
struck upon the heart. My spirit of sympathy and apprehension rushes me
to you, yet when I get to you, my doting mother’s heart makes me babble
first of my boy. And so," she concluded, with an apologetic smile, "you
see how weak and frail and egotistic I am, after all."
"But," protested Hampstead, who had been eager to break in, "my career
is not blighted. I am not under a cloud. It annoyed me to-night upon
the boat and train to discover how suddenly I was pilloried by my
enemies and avoided by my friends. They seem to take it for granted
that I am already smirched; that to me the subject must be painful, and
as there is no other subject to be thought of at the moment, hence
conversation will also be painful. Because of this I am a pariah, to be
shunned like any leper."
With rising feeling, the young minister snatched a breath and hurried
on.
"Now, Mrs. Burbeck, I do not feel like that at all. I have put myself
in the way of sustaining this attack through following the course of
duty, as I conceived it. I need not assure you that I am innocent of a
vulgar thing like burglary. I need not assure the public. It is
impossible that they should believe it. Nevertheless, I have seen
enough in the papers to-night to show how they will revel at seeing me
enmeshed in the toils of circumstance. To them it is a rare spectacle.
Very well, let it be a spectacle. It is one in which I shall triumph.
I propose to fight. I feel like fighting." His fist was clenched and
came down upon the arm of his chair, and his voice, though still low,
was full of vibrant power.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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