This was more than he had prayed for. This was no honored cross that he
was asked to bear. It was a robe of shame to be put upon him publicly.
To be sure, it was loose, ill-fitting, diaphanous, but none the less it
was enveloping. It did not blot out, yet it ate like a splotch of acid.
But suddenly the man sat up, and for the first time since the startling
disclosure in the vault room, a look of terror shot into his eyes,
terror mixed with pain that was indescribable. It was a thought of the
effect of this last story upon the mind of Bessie that had stabbed him.
Bessie had grown wonderfully during these five years. She had completed
four years at Stanford and one year of post-graduate work in the
University of Chicago. To-morrow, if he had the date right, she would
be receiving her degree. The beauty of her character and the beauty of
her person had ripened together, until John’s imagination could think of
nothing so exquisite in all the universe as Bessie Mitchell. And after
the degree and a summer in Europe, she was coming back to California and
to him! Together they were going to enter upon a life and the making of
a home that was to be rich in happiness for both of them, and as they
fondly hoped, rich in happiness for all with whom they came in contact.
Reflecting that in this last week Bessie would be too busy to read the
newspapers, John had chivalrously thought to tell her nothing of what
was befalling him, that she might set out happily upon her European
journey. But now had come this alleged vindication, which was the most
terrible assault of all, with its disgusting insinuations. He felt
instinctively that Bessie would see that story, because it was the one
of all which she ought not to see. Seeing it, he assured himself, she
would believe it, more fully than any one else would believe it. John
knew that despite his own years of steadfast devotion and despite her
own constant effort to do so, she had never quite wiped out the horrible
suspicions engendered by his confession of the brief attachment for Miss
Dounay. He suspected it was a thing no woman ever successfully wipes
out. This damnable story would revive that suspicion convincingly. It
was inevitable that Bessie should believe that Marien Dounay’s presence
had revived the old infatuation, and that he had yielded to its power.
This reflection left Hampstead with his lips pursed, his cheeks drawn,
sitting bolt and rigid like a frozen man.
In this polar atmosphere the telephone tinkled. The minister answered
it with wooden movements and a wooden voice:
"No, nothing to say—yet."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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