Mrs. Van Dorn paid a general outward respect to religion when she was
with a certain kind of people, but she was of a sort of heathen who make
gods for themselves. Her life was to be enjoyment now, since the early
part of it had been hard and comfortless. If it had not been right, a
form of reward for those dreary early years it would not have come to
her. She thought it bad taste to array herself against beliefs that
pervaded the world so largely. All sorts of disbelief coarsened women.
She had listened to one great woman speaker who afterward became an
Anarchist, and who even then denounced nearly all the moral precepts and
attacked modern marriage, and was really shocked. She liked to keep what
she called reverence for sacred things. And it pleased her to play
Providence to people now and then, and impress it delicately on the
recipients that they need look no farther than herself for the giver of
their good.
But to-night Helen felt there was some power beyond, and she gave thanks
sincerely to it. It was God who had made the world so full of beauty, it
must be God who had put these noble and lovely desires in anyone's soul,
so she went quite past Mrs. Van Dorn.
There were sweet and merry voices the next morning, but Helen had been
up an hour or more looking over some poems in a choice selection.
Someone tapped at her door, and she opened it. Miss Mays stood there
smiling.
"I suppose you feel a little queer, like the traditional cat in a
strange garret. Come down with us."
"To-day is a kind of lawless, irresponsible time. I dote on it. We had
lots of fun last year because we came on Friday. It was Daisy Bell's
first year, too. You learn to-day what the rules are, but you don't have
to keep them. It's a grace day when you are not forced to get your
accounts straight."
Helen turned and wished her mates goodmorning, and thought within
herself that it was a very pretty thing to say, since the morning was so
good. Yet she had a curious feeling within her, as if she was here
under some kind of false pretense. She was so utterly honest she would
have enjoyed explaining her exact situation, that she was here on the
bounty of a friend, and not as these other girls who came from
delightful homes, and had fathers to care for them.
Mrs. Aldred summoned Helen to her room. Occasionally this was not a
pleasant call to make, but this morning it had no such signification.
All new pupils underwent this examination. Where she had been trained,
what she had studied, and what her aims were, if she had any.
Mrs. Van Dorn had explained pretty clearly, and she had also said,
"Don't spoil a very nice, honest girl by setting her up too high."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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