As John Ward looked at his sister now, that expression of wondering
amazement with which he had greeted her was gone. In its place there
was gentle understanding.
With a little smile, Helen sat down on the top step of the porch and
motioned him to a seat beside her. "Won't you tell me about it, John?"
she said, softly.
"Tell you about what, Helen?"
"About everything--your life, your work, your friends." She made a
little gesture toward the cottage next door.
They could see the white gable through the screen of tangled boughs.
"What is it that has changed you so?" she went on. "Your interests are
so different now. You are so happy and contented--so--so alive--and
I"--her voice broke--"I feel as if you were going away off somewhere
and leaving me behind. I am so miserable. John, won't you tell me about
things?"
"You poor old girl!" exclaimed John with true brotherly affection.
"I've been a blind fool. I ought to have seen. That's nearly always the
way, though, I guess," he went on, reflectively. "A fellow gets so
darned interested trying to make things go right outside his own home
that he forgets to notice how the people that he really loves most of
all are getting along. It looks as though I have not been doing so much
better than poor old Sam Whaley, after all."
He paused and seemed to be following his thoughts into fields where
only he could go. Helen moved a little closer, and he came back to her.
"I never dreamed that you were feeling anything like this, sister. I
knew that you were worried about father, of course, as we all are, but
aside from that you seemed to be so occupied with your various
interests and with McIver--" He paused, then finished, abruptly, "Look
here, Helen, what about you and McIver anyway; have you given him his
answer yet?"
"Has that anything to do with it?" she answered, doubtfully. "There is
nothing that I can tell you about McIver. I don't seem to be able to
make up my mind, that is all. But McIver is only a part of the whole
trouble, John. Oh, can't you understand! How am I to know whether or
not I want to marry him or any one else until--until I have found
myself--until I know where I really belong."
He looked at her blankly for a second, then a smile broke over his
face. "By George!" he exclaimed "that is exactly what I had to do--find
myself and find where I belonged. I never dreamed that my sister might
be compelled to go through the same experience."
"Was it your army life that helped you to know?"
His face was serious now. "It was the things I saw and experienced
while in France."
"Tell me," she demanded. "I mean, tell me some of the things that you
men never talk about--the things you were forced to think and feel and
believe--that showed you your own real self--that changed you into what
you are to-day."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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