Suddenly the label caught my eye--it read PAREGORIC. In a second I had
snatched a shawl, wrapped Toddie in it, tucked him under my arm, and
was on my way to the barn. In a moment more I was on one of the horses
and galloping furiously to the village, with Toddie under one arm, his
yellow curls streaming in the breeze. People came out and stared as
they did at John Gilpin, while one old farmer whom I met turned his
team about, whipped up furiously, and followed me, shouting "Stop
thief!" I afterward learned that he took me to be one of the abductors
of Charley Ross, with the lost child under my arm, and that visions of
the $20,000 reward floated before his eyes. In front of an apothecary's
I brought the horse suddenly upon his haunches, and dashed in,
exclaiming:--
"Give this child a strong emetic--quick. He's swallowed poison!"
The apothecary hurried to his prescription-desk, while a
motherly-looking Irish woman upon whom he had been waiting, exclaimed,
"Holy Mither! I'll run an' fetch Father O'Kelley," and hurried out.
Meanwhile Toddie, upon whom the medicine had not commenced to take
effect, had seized the apothecary's cat by the tail, which operation
resulted in a considerable vocal protest from that animal.
The experiences of the next few moments were more pronounced and
revolutionary than pleasing to relate in detail. It is sufficient to
say that Toddie's weight was materially diminished, and that his
complexion was temporarily pallid. Father O'Kelley arrived at a brisk
run, and was honestly glad to find that his services were not required,
although I assured him that if Catholic baptism and a sprinkling of
holy water would improve Toddie's character, I thought there was excuse
for several applications. We rode quietly back to the house, and while
I was asking Maggie to try to coax Toddie into taking a nap, I heard
the patient remark to his brother:--
"Budgie, down to the village I was a whay-al. I didn't froe up Djonah,
but I froed up a whole floor full of uvver fings." During the hour
which passed before it was time to start for the depot, my sole
attention was devoted to keeping the children from soiling their
clothes; but my success was so little, that I lost my temper entirely.
First they insisted upon playing on a part of the lawn which the sun
had not yet reached. Then, while I had gone into the house for a match
to light my cigar, Toddie had gone with his damp shoes into the middle
of the road, where the dust was ankle deep. Then they got upon their
hands and knees on the piazza and played bear. Each one wanted to pick
a bouquet for his mother, and Toddie took the precaution to smell every
flower he approached--an operation which caused him to get his nose
covered with lily-pollen, so that he looked like a badly used
prize-fighter. In one of their spasms of inaction, Budge asked:--
"What makes some of the men in church have no hair on the tops of their
heads, Uncle Harry?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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