Henry Is Twenty: A Further Episodic History of Henry Calverly, 3rdMerwin, Samuel
General
Henry Is Twenty: A Further Episodic History of Henry Calverly, 3rd
Merwin, Samuel
Young men -- Fiction
A comedian was singing and dancing on the stage. Cicely watched him, her
eyes alight, her lips parted in a smile of sheer enjoyment.
'How can she!' he thought. 'How _can_ she!' Then: 'I could do that. If
I'd kept it up. If she'd seen me in _Iolanthe_ maybe she'd care.'
The curtain fell on a glittering finale.
With a great chattering the party moved up the aisle. Cicely told her
two escorts that she didn't know when she had enjoyed anything so much.
She was merry about it. Care free as a child.
Henry stopped short in the foyer; standing aside, half behind a framed
advertisement on an easel; his hands clenched in his coat pockets; white
of face; biting his lip.
'I can't go with them!' he was thinking. 'It's too much. I can't! I
can't trust myself. I'd say something. But what'll they think?
'She won't know. She won't care. She's happy--my suffering is nothing to
her.' This was youthful bitterness, of course. But it met an immediate
counter in the following thought, which, to any one who knew the often
selfcentred Henry would have been interesting. 'But that's the way it
ought to be. She mustn't know how I suffer. It isn't her fault. A great
love just comes to you. Nobody can help it. It's tragedy, of course.
Even if I have to--to'--his lip was quivering now--'to shoot myself, I
must leave a note telling her she wasn't to blame. Just that I loved her
too much to live without her. But I haven't any money. I couldn't make
her happy.'
His eyes, narrow points of fire, glanced this way and that. Almost
furtively. Passion--a grown man's passion--was or seemed to him to be
tearing him to pieces. And he hadn't a grown man's experience of life,
the background of discipline and self-control, that might have helped
him weather the storm. All he could do was to wonder if he had spoken
aloud or only thought these words. He didn't know. Somebody might have
heard. The crowd was still pouring slowly out past him. It seemed to him
incredible that all the world shouldn't know about it.
The others of the party were somewhere out on the street now. They were
going to a restaurant; then, in their bus, to the twelve-fourteen, the
last train for Sunbury until daylight.
What could he do if he didn't take that train? He might hide up forward,
in the smoker. But there were a hundred chances that he would be seen.
No, that wouldn't do. He must hurry after them.
But he flatly couldn't. Why, the tears were coming to his eyes. A little
weakness, whenever he was deeply moved, for which he despised himself.
There was no telling what he might do--cry like a girl, break out into
an impossible torrent of words. A scene. Anywhere; on the street, in the
restaurant.
No, however awkward, whatever the cost, he couldn't rejoin them, he
couldn't look at Cicely and Elbow and Herb and the others.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account