_Marazion, September 2._--My mind has been exercised with many
painful anxieties about my dear friend, but I have poured out my
soul to God, and am relieved; I have left my sorrows with Him.
Isaiah (41st chapter) has comforted me. Oh, what pleasure did
that permission give me when my heart was overburdened to-day.
'Produce your cause'--what a privilege to come to God as a
friend. I disclose those feelings to Him I have no power to any
earthly friend. Those I could say most to seem to avoid the
subject that occupies my mind; I have been wounded by their
silence, yet I do not imagine them indifferent or unconcerned.
It is well for me they have seemed to be so, for it has made me
more frequent at a throne of grace, and brought me more
acquainted with God as a friend who will hear all my complaints.
Oh, how sweet to approach Him, through Christ, as my God. 'Fear
not,' He says, 'for I am with you: be not dismayed, I am thy
God, I will strengthen thee, yea (O blessed assurance!) I will
help thee, yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My
righteousness;' and so I find it--glory be to God! Lord, hear
the frequent prayers I offer for Thy dear servant, sanctify our
mutual regard; may it continue through eternity, flowing from
our love to Thee.
_September 3._--Still no letters from Stoke, and no intelligence
whether the fleet has sailed--this is no small exercise of my
patience, but at times I feel a sweet complacency in saying,
'Thou art my portion, O Lord.' I have often felt happy in saying
this, but it is in a season such as this, when creature comforts
fail, that we may know whether we are sincere in saying so. Ah!
how do we imperceptibly cleave to earth, and how soon withdraw
our affections from God. I am sensible mine would never fix on
Him but by His own power effecting it. I rest on Thy power, O
God most high, retired from human observation.
When the commodore opened his sealed despatches off the Lizard, it was
found that the fleet was to linger still longer at Cork, whence Henry
Martyn wrote again to Lydia's sister, Mrs. Hitchins. On Sunday, when
becalmed in Mount's Bay, and he would have given anything to have been
ashore preaching at Marazion or St. Hilary, he had taken for his text
Hebrews xi. 16: 'But now they desire a better country, that is, an
heavenly.'
Cork Harbour: August 19, 1805.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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