Indeed, the only purpose that was served by these endeavors was to
prove to the unhappy advocate that his nature must be allowed to obey
its instincts. He must fulfil his destiny. To that acute intelligence
it had come to seem that truth and untruth were identical. It would
seem to be born for iconoclasm, for demolition; let it leave to less
sophisticated minds the championship of outworn ideas. In this
whirlpool of doubt in which he was engulfed, his ideals, his instincts,
all those mental resources which garnish with dignity the most protean
character, seemed to break from their moorings; and in the very frenzy
of this wreck of his stability, there returned upon him in the guise of
one of those paradoxes which had become so fatal, a newer, a franker, a
more vital conception of his power.
There returned in its train the arrogance of his quality. It was not
for one of the blood royal to submit to dictation from the mediocrity
it despised. Its right was inalienable to obey the forces within
itself. He had felt from the first that it was in his power to save
this woman; the attorney’s doubts had intervened and for a time had
overthrown his faith; but now he had come to believe it again. The
thing called “experience,” that eternal standby of the vulgar, was a
mere tawdry substitute for intuition in the inferior orders. A great
talent incorporated experience within itself. He must suffer no qualm
on the score of his youth, his absence of laurels. After all, this
brief had been evoked by the exercise of an imperious will in a magic
hour; had he not an immemorial right to use it as he chose? Let him
obey the divine faculty that had carried him so far, and then if fail
he must, at least his failure would be worthy of himself. It was proper
for common minds, destitute of all force and originality, to subscribe
to the conventions which they set up to protect themselves. Custom,
usage, the accretions of centuries may even hallow and exalt them until
they assume the guise of religions, but these simulations have nothing
to say to the royal among their kind.
This powerful impulse, whose impact upon the mind of the advocate was
almost terrible, merged the surroundings in itself. Time and place
were obliterated; the evening was imperceptibly eaten away. The clocks
of the neighborhood gave out the hour of midnight just as Northcote,
gasping, with all the breath driven out of his body, emerged from the
vortex to grasp his final decision. For six hours he had not been
sufficiently accessible to the external to heed the hours as they
struck. But now, as the long-drawn strokes announced a new day, a
thrill of excitement convulsed his being. The day of all days was at
hand. He was standing on the very threshold of the issue. The dread
future was about to roll back its veil. Such an emotion was cast upon
him that he began to tremble as violently as when he had driven with
Mr. Whitcomb to the prison.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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