"It seems a dear, quaint little dwelling," said Anstice, hardly
knowing what to say; "and as for your church, the age of it alone is
entrancing. It is like a nest of tranquillity amongst the trees."
"I believe it's one of the smallest churches in England," said the girl
indifferently, "and the vicarage suits it. There isn't room to swing a
cat in it! But it's big enough for my uncle. He lives in his study all
day."
"And do you live alone with him? It must be dreary for you in the
winter."
"I came here when I was seventeen, with my mother. My father was killed
in the War just before Armistice Day, and we had very little money, and
she was delicate and did not like the London fogs. I was at school at
St. Paul's; I meant to teach, but my mother needed me, and I could not
leave her. She was all I had, and we loved each other. She liked the
quiet and peace of this, but she only lived two years after we came,
and then I felt desperate, but I did not like leaving uncle. He is old
and not very strong and very absent-minded."
"And now he relies upon me for everything, but it is stagnation! I
don't know why I'm telling all this to a stranger. It's your face
which encourages me. I never talk to people of my own class. I'm sick
of the tourists. And I know no one—only the farmers and a few of the
cottagers, and I've used them up long ago. I'm getting desperate, for
the summer soon goes, and the rain begins, and the mist and the gales
and I'm stifled! Shut into that little hole of a vicarage, without any
hope or chance of escape!"
They were walking towards the lake as they talked, and the girl waved
her hand towards the mountains that seemed to tower above them.
"Those are my enemies," she said; "I have learnt to hate them. They're
grim sentinels between me and the world. They're crushing the life out
of me. I rebelled at first, but I am past caring now."
"But this is all wrong," said Anstice; "if you feel like this, surely
your uncle won't wish to keep you?"
"I am his housekeeper. We have only a rough girl to do the charing.
Mother made me promise not to leave him. I think she did not know how
utterly lonely it would be for me without her. He was her only brother.
As long as he lives, I must live here with him. It's a gloomy, eerie
place, this head of the lake! Only the yews seem to flourish, and
they're trees of death, that's what I call them. Let me grumble on, it
does me good. You will go your way and forget all about me."
"No, I can't do that," said Anstice firmly; "we have been drawn
together for some good purpose. Are you a good walker?"
"Yes, I have to be. We keep no car—no trap, not even a boat. Uncle
Edgar is quite content to trot round to his parishioners on his
own feet. He is writing some theological book which will never be
published, but it keeps him busy and content."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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