Anglo-Indians -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Though dreams visited the worn-out traveller, her slumbers were almost
as profound as if she had really passed away. Once she awoke in the
still night; the moon streamed full into the room; there was a faint
sound of flowing water. Where was she? Her drowsy brain failed to
recall the great events of yesterday.
Suddenly a strange, weird sound pierced the silence, the wild, horrible
howl of a pack of hunting jackals as they swept across the plain beyond
the river, and for a frantic moment the wretched girl believed herself
to be listening, in some dim region, to the agonised wailing of lost
souls.
But no; it was only a hideous nightmare! She turned on her side with a
sigh of relief, and again relapsed into slumber.
In the morning when Verona opened her eyes, it was to gaze vacantly
about her. She was at a loss to remember how she came to be lying
in this great bare room. Where was she? Was she in Spain, or some
out-of-the-way French town? She strove to summon her scattered
thoughts, and all too soon they came trooping back and assured her that
she was at last at home--yes, in her real home, among her own people!
She was sensible of a feeling of repulsion and absolute despair, and
yet another self--which must have been her original baby self--cried
shame on her for her hard heart and unnatural, wicked pride. Why should
she be proud? She was nothing more nor less than a well-educated
half-caste, who had been foolishly removed from her proper sphere,
her own particular class. Her father--oh! why had he married a woman
of such a race? Now, she understood his constrained manner, his
ashamed silence and his downcast air, why he seemed to shun his former
associates and to withdraw from society like some social outlaw. And
she, who had never had one hint of her own origin, had acquired the
ideas, refinements and prejudices of a high-bred English girl. What was
to become of her?
She sat up in bed, holding her hands to her throbbing head, and
endeavoured to individualise her relations. Her father--the broken-down
gentleman, lethargic and dumb; her mother--she shrank from the subject
as a flame; her sisters--uneducated, emotional, shrill; given to cheap
scents and greasy sweetmeats; her grandmother--but one degree above the
ayah; and her own good looks complacently attributed to an ancestress,
a Temple girl who danced before the gods!
It all sounded like an Opéra Bouffe, a transformation scene of wild,
topsy-turvy comedy, instead of which it was the sharp, agonising truth;
no burlesque, but a heart-breaking tragedy--the tragedy of her life.
How was she to endure this existence? What could she do? Where could
she go? Where hide herself? For the first time in her existence, a
longing for death surprised her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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