Hesperus; or, Forty-Five Dog-Post-Days: A Biography. Vol. I.Jean Paul
General
Hesperus; or, Forty-Five Dog-Post-Days: A Biography. Vol. I.
Jean Paul
Fiction
With Victor the first alternative was the one,--exactly in the middle
of spring. I need not inquire whether it is the body, the weather, or
who or what, that rings in this truce of God in our breast; but I must
describe how they look, the Sabbatical weeks. Their form is precisely
this: in a holy or Sabbatical week, many--e. g. I--are put off with
mere Sabbatical days or hours. At first, one slumbers lightly, as on
balanced clouds,--one awakes like a serene day. At evening one had made
a firm resolve beforehand, and had therefore written it down in ciphers
on the door, to grow better, and to apply the weeding-knife every day
to one bed of weeds at least,--on awaking one is still so minded, and
in fact carries it out. The gall, that excitable spirit, which usually,
when it is poured, instead of into the duodenum, into the heart or
heart's blood, sends up boiling and hissing clouds, is now in a few
seconds absorbed or precipitated, and the exalted mind _feels calmly
the bodily effervescence_ without any of its own. In this lull of the
wings of our lungs, one utters only soft, low words, one clasps
lovingly the hand of every one with whom he speaks, and one thinks,
with melting heart, "Ah! I could not begrudge it to one of you, if you
were still happier than I." On the clean, healthy, tranquil heart, as
on the Homeric gods, light wounds immediately close. "No!" thou keepest
saying in the Sabbatical week, "I must for some days to come maintain
this tranquillity." Thou requirest, as material for joy, hardly
anything but existence; nay, the sun-sting of a rapture would condense
this cool, magical, transparent morning haze into a tempest. Thou
lookest up steadily into the blue, as if thou wouldst fain give thanks
and weep, and around upon the earth as if thou wouldst say, "Wherever I
might be to-day, there I should be happy!" and a heart full of sleeping
storms thou carriest, as a mother does her child sunk into slumber,
shyly and watchfully over the soft flowers of joy.... But the storms
start up, nevertheless, and assail the heart!...
Ah, what must we not all already have lost, if the pictures of blissful
days win from us nothing but sighs! O tranquillity, tranquillity, thou
evening of the soul, thou still Hesper of the weary heart, which always
abides beside the sun of virtue, if at thy very name our inner being is
dissolved into tears, ah, is not that a sign that we seek thee, but
have thee not?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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