Hesperus; or, Forty-Five Dog-Post-Days: A Biography. Vol. I.Jean Paul
General
Hesperus; or, Forty-Five Dog-Post-Days: A Biography. Vol. I.
Jean Paul
Fiction
"I am unhappy," said his father, slowly; a more bitter, biting tear
burned on the pupil of his eye; he hesitated a little, and placed his
five open fingers upon his heart, as if he would grasp and pluck it
out, and looked upon the pale stone one as if he would say, Why is not
mine resting too? The good, dying Victor, crushed with the anguish of
affection, melting into pity, longed to--fall upon the dear, desolated
bosom, and to say more than the sigh, "O God, my good father!" But his
Lordship gently repelled him, and the tear of gall, unshed, was stifled
by the eyelids. His Lordship resumed, but more coldly: "Think not that
I am specially affected; think not that I desire a joy or deprecate a
sorrow: I live now without hope, and without hope I die."
His voice came cutting over ice-fields; his glance was made sharp by
frost.
He continued: "When I have, perhaps, made _seven_ human beings happy,
then must it be inscribed on _my_ black marble, _It rests_.... Why dost
thou wonder so? Art thou even _now_ at peace?"--The father stared at
the white heart, and then stared more fixedly straight before him, as
if a shape had risen out of the grave,--the freezing eye laid and
turned itself about on a rising tear, as if to smother it. Suddenly he
drew back a veil from a mirror, and said, "Look in, but embrace me
immediately after!" ... Victor gazed into the mirror, and saw, with a
shudder, an eternally loved face appear therein,--the face of his
teacher _Dahore_; his knees smote together, but still he did not look
over, his shoulder, and embraced that father who was without hope.
"Thou tremblest far too violently," said his Lordship; "but ask me not,
my dear boy, why all is so. At a certain stage of years one opens no
more the old breast, full as it may be."
Ah, I pity thee! For _those_ wounds which can be disclosed are not
deep; _that_ grief which a humane eye can discover, a soft hand
alleviate, is but small; but the woe which a friend must not see,
because he cannot take it away,--that woe which sometimes rises into
the eye in the midst of blessedness in the form of a sudden trickle
which the averted face smothers,--_this_ hangs in secret more and more
heavily on the heart, and at last breaks it, and goes down with it
under the healing sod. So are iron balls tied to man when he dies on
the sea, and they sink with him more quickly into his vast grave.--
He continued: "I am going to tell thee something; but swear, here upon
these precious ashes, never to divulge it. It concerns thy Flamin, and
from him thou must conceal it."
Victor, so hurled from one wave to another, started at this. He
remembered that Flamin had wrung from him on the watch-tower the
promise, that, if ever they should have offended each other too sorely,
they would die together. He hesitated to take the oath; at last he
said, "But shortly before my death may I tell it to him?"
"Canst thou know when that will be?" said his father.
"But in case--?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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